Day 289: Adios, A-Rod.

Nothing makes me happier to see that grimace on Alex Rodriguez's face when something doesn't go his way. You know the look... that "what? I didn't do anything wrong" look. It's a look he's perfected. It's a look he uses often because frankly, Rodriguez rarely thinks he does anything wrong. He has spent his entire adult life so many lips on his ass, it's a surprise he can even sit down anymore.

It's sort of the same look he had on his face in game six of the 2004 ALCS when he slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove and then tried to argue that was his normal running style. He was called out and as he stood on second, arms flailed out to the side, he refused to accept his mistake and leave the field. If you still don't remember that look, click HERE and go directly to 33:46 of the video. I can't help but smile each and every time I watch that crybaby.

This week something happened that you may have heard about that brought A-Rod back down to earth. The 211-game suspension for violations of the sport's drug agreement and labor contract that was handed down by Bud Selig last August was overturned. What? Have no fear though. Baseball's independent arbitrator, Frederic Horowitz, shortened the suspension to 162 games plus all playoff games in 2014.

So now A-Rod is suing Major League Baseball and the player's union. Um... isn't he in the player's union? Doesn't that mean he's suing himself? I'm going out on a limb and saying this guy isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. Why can't he just accept that the jig is up, Tony Bosch has enough evidence about their PED relationship to fill Yankee Stadium. There's a lot of other stuff going on in this case that you can read about HERE if you really want to give up five minutes of your life you'll never get back.

Part of me is so happy this piece of shit will not only NOT be playing baseball this upcoming season, but he's also losing out on about $25 million bucks. But there's also a part of me that's mad the Yankees dodged that bullet of having to pay him for probably being injured or just plain sucking.

It makes me sad that baseball has been defaced by the suspicion of performance enhancing drugs. Players have to constantly battle with the public's perception of what is true talent and what is injected talent.

Day 235: A-Rod is a Douche Bag. The End.

PED pariah and Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez stomped out of his own grievance hearing on Wednesday in New York like a spoiled three year old headed for a time out. He was in the midst of the hearings to try and get his 211-game suspension for alleged drug use overturned when it was ruled that commissioner Bud Selig did not have to testify before Rodreguez's attorneys. He was not happy.

So A-Rod did what he does best—he threw a tantrum. He slammed his fist on the table, declared the proceedings freaking bullcrap or something a bit more vulgar that might not be allowed on this blog, and he walked out. He issued a statement through his spokesperson (actually I'm sure it was a statement written by his spokesperson too since I'm fairly certain that A-Rod doesn't even know what unprecedented even means.)

"I am disgusted with this abusive process, designed to ensure that the player fails," the statement said. "I have sat through 10 days of testimony by felons and liars, sitting quietly through every minute, trying to respect the league and the process. This morning, after Bud Selig refused to come in and testify about his rationale for the unprecedented and totally baseless punishment he hit me with, the arbitrator selected by MLB and the players' association refused to order Selig to come in and face me. The absurdity and injustice just became too much. I walked out and will not participate any further in this farce."

What's a boy who's not getting his own way to do? Well, head on over the WFAN where Mike Francesa can kiss his ass, that's what! In fact, Francesa has his head so far up his ass, A-Rod needs a glass belly button so he can see where he's going. It's kinda gross actually. With so much evidence mounted against Rodriguez, for someone to so vehemently defend him is just really weird. Even his own team doesn't want him around anymore.

“Listen, they (MLB) accused you. They said they had mountains of evidence. They said they could prove you did worse than this,” Francesa preached. “You know how I feel. You’ve gotten railroaded... I don’t know if you’ve done steroids again or not, that’s your business. You’re stating here now that you’ve never done anything. You should be fighting this tooth and nail... I would’ve been outraged long before this.”

Gag, gag... vomit... gag. Really? REALLY? Alex Rodriguez is the biggest liar on the planet. But evidently Francesa has a giant man crush on the cheater so maybe someone should set up a marriage for these two douche bags.

It pains me that I share a birthday with this asshat.

Day 143: David Letterman's Alex Rodriguez Top Ten

Major League Baseball suspended Ryan Dempster for five games for his plunking of Alex Rodriguez last Sunday. I might have enjoyed this plunking a little too much. So basically Dempster might miss one start... maybe get an extra day off that he probably needs because clearly he missed A-Roid on his first attempt to bean him.

Many around the league don't agree with the punishment. Many are saying that the meager suspension is basically declaring open season on cheaters. And since there's only one suspended cheater currently playing, it looks like A-Rod could see his fair share of "inside" pitches. I say plunk away! If Rodriguez wants to be a douchebag about, well, everything, I say now he needs take it like a man!

David Letterman even did a "Top Ten" list about the event.

And yes, every pitcher that bonks him with a pitch, should win a top shelf stuffed animal.

Day 127: Drum Roll Please: And the Cheaters Are...

Major League Baseball handed down 12 suspensions this afternoon. They took their own sweet time too—waiting for the offenders to be announced was sort of like waiting for the revelation of the list of perverts on the Kennebunk Zumba list.

Each of the 12 delinquents have been given 50 game suspensions effective immediately. This will allow players to return to their teams should they make the post season. Stupid, if you ask me. Who cares? And why should they be permitted to take part in any portion of this season? They cheated. I realize it's standard procedure for first offenders (if you're not Alex Rodriguez), but, in my opinion, a 50 game suspension doesn't provide enough of a deterrent to keep guys from doing it again.

If MLB wants to prove they're trying to clean up the game, they should strongly consider taking the same action that the International Olympic Committee does. If an athlete tests positive, the first time they're banned from competition for two years. The second time, they're banned for life. I'm pretty sure the possibility of a lifetime ban will clean up baseball quite a bit.

Pete Rose was banned for life for betting on baseball 25 years ago. Have you heard of anyone since then betting on baseball? And gambling doesn't help you heal faster, hit the ball farther or throw the ball harder.

The following 12 players have all agreed to accept their 50 game suspension:

• Nelson Cruz, Texas Rangers
• Everth Cabrera, San Diego Padres (dude should be suspended just for his name alone)
• Fautino De Los Santos, San Diego Padres
• Jhonny Peralta, Detroit Tigers
• Antonio Bastardo, Philadelphia Phillies
• Francisco Cervelli, NY Yankees (on DL)
• Jordany Valdepsin, NY Mets (minors)
• Jesus Montero, Seattle Mariners (minors)
• Cesar Puello, NY Mets (minors)
• Sergio Escalona, Houston Astros (minors)
• Fernando Martinez, NY Yankees (minors)
• Jordan Norberto, Free-agent

A bit later this afternoon, MLB confirmed what we heard yesterday regarding Alex Rodriguez—although he's getting a short grace period, effective Thursday, A-Rod will be suspended for 211 games that will take him through the end of the 2014 season. This will be the longest non-gambling suspension for MLB to date.

Rodriguez refuses to go down without a fight—he plans to appeal the suspension. The New York Post had it right: Just Go. Shut your stupid cheating, lying pie hole, accept your punishment and serve your 211 games like a man.

Day 114: Ryan Braun Can't Weasel His Way Out of This Suspension

Biogenesis might sound like the fictional, evil scientific lab center of a Robin Cook novel to some, but for the doping major league baseball player, Biogenesis is a little bit like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. The Miami-based rejuvenation clinic's true colors were revealed by a disgruntled employee who disclosed the real business—selling performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) to an extensive list of MLB players.

In 2012, Milwaukee Brewers' left fielder Ryan Braun successfully challenged a positive drug test and an impending 50-game suspension based on the chain of command of his urine sample in late 2011. Because the sample sat in someone's fridge for 48 hours before being sent off to the lab for testing, Braun claimed that the positive result was due to tampering. He won the appeal and the suspension was overturned. Flimsy accusations, but it worked.

Following the events of the sample misconduct, Braun gained the support of many peers and team brass. He insisted that he did not violate baseball's drug agreement and people believed him. The Brewers rewarded him with a hefty contract extension worth $145 million, keeping him in Milwaukee through the 2020 season. He thought he was invincible.

So you cheat, you lie and you get rewarded with millions? Awesome.

Finally... Braun's luck ran out this week as he became the first player to succumb to this recent scandal. He was suspended without pay for 65 games—basically the remainder of the season and post-season, if the Brewers get that far. Braun will lose out on nearly $4 million of his $9.61 million contract for the 2013 season. Ouch. Serves you right, cheater. Can we revoke his MVP award?

Good for MLB for cracking down on these cheating douchebags. I'm so sick of these lazy, doping athletes who try to take the easy way out. I'm sick of the lies and I'm sick of second guessing every successful baseball player, wondering in the back of my mind if this is all him or if he's using an HGH aid. It shouldn't have to be this way. Fans shouldn't have to be suspicious of every home run and every strike out.

I'm not stupid. I know even member of the Red Sox have been involved in PEDs at some point or another. You can't tell me Jacoby Ellsbury wasn't juicing in 2011—just look at his career home run totals and tell me that was all him. We know Manny was doing it. Maybe David Ortiz experimented too, although we may never know for sure. It all makes me sick.

More will fall in the coming days and weeks—most likely Alex Rodriguez, Bartolo Colon and Melky Cabrera to name a few. Seeing A-Rod go down might even be worth it.