My brain doesn't even give a shit that the Red Sox played the Twins in their first official Grapefruit League game today. Nor does it care that, despite losing 8-2, there were some bright spots like Bryce Brentz going yard and Mike Napoli going 2-for-2 and Anthony Renaudo pitching two innings of no hit ball. To put it simply, my brain has mutinied. It has extended the proverbial middle finger and skipped town. My brain is an asshole.
What my brain does care about is cute dogs and videos about cute dogs playing sports. Cute dogs don't take much actual thought or intelligence. All cute dogs require is for the brain to tell the mouth to make the sound, awwwwww. That's about the extent of what my brain is capable of right now.
Seriously? Why have my hounds never shown this kind of talent? I get stuck with dogs who chase their own tails, sleep 22 hours a day and eat poop. I got cheated! TGIF!