Deflategate Be Damned: Tom Brady Says Those Balls Were Perfect.

When I first heard about this thing called "Deflategate" last Monday morning, my heart sank. I couldn't have felt more disappointed to think that the New England Patriots could have purposely deflated their game balls to gain an advantage in the AFC Championship. I was crushed. This is not the distraction fans in New England needed in the two weeks leading up to Tom Brady's sixth appearance in the Super Bowl.

After the dreaded "spygate" scandal that named my favorite team a bunch of cheaters, my fan psyche was fragile. I despised the fact that many felt the Patriots couldn't win another championship without cheating. This under inflated ball controversy was just one more incident to get those haters up in arms about punishing and penalizing and disciplining this team. Some critics even called for the NFL to ban the Pats from participating in the Super Bowl all for a couple of flat-ish balls.

We've heard every argument in support and against these accusations. And many of the teams' backers have vehemently maintained a football that was deflated less than two psi under the league requirement could not be the reason the Patriots destroyed the Indianapolis Colts by 38 points. Even D'Quell Jackson, who intercepted a Tom Brady pass and was reported to have brought attention to the deflated ball, says he had nothing to do with it. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

So the Patriots are forced to defend themselves to the media and present technical evidence as to what happened to the balls after they were approved by the officials. Bill Belichick turned into a mad scientific with experiments and facts on the effects of atmospheric conditions on leather balls. Tom Brady is raked over the coals as to why he didn't notice the balls were under inflated because all these moronic reporters actually think once the ball is hiked and the play is happening that Brady has time to squeeze the ball and think to himself, "huh, that feels soft. I should report this to someone." (If anything, these press conferences have been a treasure trove of completely awesome soundbites.)

And then we hear that the balls were presented to the officials not properly inflated but the balls were approved. Or that because of a delay in the starting time of the AFC Championship game, the balls were in the possession of some rogue locker room attendant who spent the next ninety seconds in the bathroom frantically letting the air out of the balls... but only eleven of them because he ran out of time.

It was clear to me that a few days into this whole hullaballoo, it was all just a giant pile of bullshit. Haters are going to hate even when there is no tangible proof that the Patriots were directly responsible for the soft balls. For a brief moment, I thought it might actually dissuade me from caring about the Super Bowl. But then I stopped worrying about the consequences and now have joined the camp that believes this whole ordeal is a non-issue and just a reason for all those idiot former football players who think their opinions are important to bash a team that most likely has pounded on them in the past.

That disappointed me thought the Patriots were going to be damned if they did or damned if they didn't win. The won because they cheated or they lost because they couldn't cheat. But then I snapped out of it. With the mega-watt spotlight shining on this team right now, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they would or could ever cheat in the Super Bowl. Every commentator, reporter, NFL representative and official will have them under the world's most powerful microscope just waiting for them to slip up. The Patriots will be on their best behavior so if when they win, they win clean.

The Pats are Super Bowl Bound!!

My superstitious sports fan self won't let me say much more than HOLY CRAP, the Patriots are headed to Arizona and the friggin' Super Bowl!!!

Who could've predicted this turn of events after week four and that 41-14 lambasting they suffered at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs? The Pats were 2-2 and sports reporters and talk show hosts were calling for the end of Tom Brady. He was washed up. He sucked. He was too old and he needed to retire.

Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!

Tom doesn't like to be told he can't do something. So what did he do? Meh, not much. Just a 10-2 record for the rest of the season including seven straight wins after the loss to KC. And the #1 seed in the AFC. Yup. Then there was that thrilling come from behind win to beat the Ravens in the Divisional round. Oh and just a little bit of a trouncing of the Colts for the AFC title.

It's going to be a long two weeks, my Patriots fan friends.

Day 294: Well... Maybe Next Year, Patriots.

Since the launch of my Balls of All Sizes quest back on April 1, 2013, there has rarely been a shortage of topics on which to reflect. I've been lucky enough to pick a year where lots of newsworthy stuff has happened—some really amazing and some really bad—and I did my best to give attention to all of it. Even when I didn't want to.

From the Boston Marathon bombings, to the Bruins in (but losing) the Stanley Cup Finals, to the Aaron Hernandez murder charges, to the Red Sox winning the World Series, it's been a flood of subject matter. So after what the Bruins and Sox did, naturally I wanted the trifecta—the Patriots at least making it to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, Peyton Manning and the Broncos had other plans. Curses!

I'm not here to make excuses for the Patriots. They played a shitty game—it's as simple as that. I don't want to hear about the injuries or their lack of weapons because they've had to deal with those deficiencies nearly all season long and ended up with a 12-4 record and the #2 seed going in to the playoffs. They were just plain outplayed. Unfortunately, there would be no magical comeback today.

While I'm sad about the loss and as much as I hate doing it, I must give props to the Denver Broncos for coming up with a game plan based on the obvious weaknesses of the Patriots and sticking to that plan. Back in November, they exploited the Pats' lack of run defense by rushing for over 250 yards. In the AFC Championship, the Broncos took advantage of New England's weak secondary and Manning picked them apart for 400 yards passing.

That's all I can muster tonight... Now pardon me while I go cry in my mac and cheese. Until next year...

Day 293: Why Do I Have the Pre-Game Jitters?

It's been a long week waiting for AFC Championship Sunday to arrive and now that it's almost here, I find myself a bundle of nerves. Why? I'm not playing in the game, I'm not coaching the team (well...maybe a little from my couch) and I don't own the Patriots either. I'm just a fan...a very nervous (and ridiculously superstitious) fan.

I've been incessantly listening to sports talk radio this whole week. Listening to the Boston stations talk about how much Tom Brady owns Peyton Manning and that we have nothing to worry about. Listening to them talk about the postseason records of each quarterback and using those stats to make an argument for how it's virtually impossible for the Patriots to lose this game.

All I can think is: SHUT UP, YOU'RE GOING TO JINX THEM!!

Yup, that's how I think...but if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how irrational I can be when it comes to my superstitions. I did notice that the jeans and Pats t-shirt I wore during their win over the Colts still sit in the bedroom unwashed. That's a good thing, right? I didn't wash any good juju out of my outfit.

I'm not going to lie...I was nervous wearing this particular t-shirt last week because the only other time I wore it was during that horrible game against Carolina—and we all know how that one ended. So you probably can imagine my relief when they won. I really like the t-shirt and I would be sad to have to burn it. Although if bad things happen on Sunday, it's curtains for that thing.

But now I'm trying to remember what socks I wore. Mom? Do you remember? And I'm wondering if the change in the viewing location will work against me? Last week we watched the first half at my parents' house and the second half at home. This week we're planning to watch the whole game at home. And what about my dinner choices? Do I have to eat a meatball sub exactly as I did last Saturday night, or can I stick with my previously planned crock pot mac and cheese?

My brain can't handle all the questions and second guesses floating around in it! I guess I shouldn't over think it too much... Go Pats!

Day 292: Twelfth Man Blues for the Broncos

The all-important 12th Man is something most professional football teams count on. Really... what's the sense of home field advantage if your fans can't do their part to help you win? If you're not quite sure what I'm talking about, think about the loudest cheering you've ever heard. That's the 12th Man. It's that extra something that makes it difficult for visiting teams to communicate plays and it generally throws (or is supposed to throw) them off their game.

Some stadiums are louder than others—I'm guessing it depends on the configuration of the field. If a field has overhanging canopies or aluminum bleachers, shit gets real loud, real fast. I've been to Gillette Stadium for a Patriots game and one end of the field is open and I swear, all the sound flies out that end. It never sounds really loud in that place and it kind of bums me out a bit.

But then you have places like CenturyLink Field in Seattle and Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. These two arenas lead the way as the two loudest crowds in the NFL and both held the Guinness World Record for loudest crowd noise at some point this past season. And Seattle's rowdy fans actually registered on the Richter scale during one game.

Other teams need to go a step further with their home field advantage because maybe they don't trust their 12th Man to show up. Understandable in Denver where they're probably all stoned. The Broncos organization is so nervous that their fans will be out-cheered, they've limited the ticket sales to exclude certain states—Massachusetts being one. Basically they want Sports Authority Field at Mile High to be a sea of orange with not a Flying Elvis or Tom Brady jersey to be seen.

An article by Mark Kiszla from the Denver Post referenced the 2006 AFC Championship when the Broncos hosted the Pittsburgh Steelers. Swarms of Terrible Towel-wielding Steelers fans descended on the stadium, essentially negating home field advantage for the Broncos and shaking up veteran sissies players. In the article, former defensive back, John Lynch recalls walking out for a pre-game warm-up to a sea of yellow and being ruined for the entire game.

Now here's where I call bullshit. Are you telling me that Denver Broncos' psyches are so fragile that they need to limit what fans can attend the game? Sounds like a conspiracy to me. Sounds like Tom Brady and company need to march in there and kick some of that orange ass. Sounds like poor wittle Peyton Manning and Wuss Wes Welker need their blankies to comfort them in the big, bad football world.

Get over yourself, Denver.