Deflategate Be Damned: Tom Brady Says Those Balls Were Perfect.

When I first heard about this thing called "Deflategate" last Monday morning, my heart sank. I couldn't have felt more disappointed to think that the New England Patriots could have purposely deflated their game balls to gain an advantage in the AFC Championship. I was crushed. This is not the distraction fans in New England needed in the two weeks leading up to Tom Brady's sixth appearance in the Super Bowl.

After the dreaded "spygate" scandal that named my favorite team a bunch of cheaters, my fan psyche was fragile. I despised the fact that many felt the Patriots couldn't win another championship without cheating. This under inflated ball controversy was just one more incident to get those haters up in arms about punishing and penalizing and disciplining this team. Some critics even called for the NFL to ban the Pats from participating in the Super Bowl all for a couple of flat-ish balls.

We've heard every argument in support and against these accusations. And many of the teams' backers have vehemently maintained a football that was deflated less than two psi under the league requirement could not be the reason the Patriots destroyed the Indianapolis Colts by 38 points. Even D'Quell Jackson, who intercepted a Tom Brady pass and was reported to have brought attention to the deflated ball, says he had nothing to do with it. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

So the Patriots are forced to defend themselves to the media and present technical evidence as to what happened to the balls after they were approved by the officials. Bill Belichick turned into a mad scientific with experiments and facts on the effects of atmospheric conditions on leather balls. Tom Brady is raked over the coals as to why he didn't notice the balls were under inflated because all these moronic reporters actually think once the ball is hiked and the play is happening that Brady has time to squeeze the ball and think to himself, "huh, that feels soft. I should report this to someone." (If anything, these press conferences have been a treasure trove of completely awesome soundbites.)

And then we hear that the balls were presented to the officials not properly inflated but the balls were approved. Or that because of a delay in the starting time of the AFC Championship game, the balls were in the possession of some rogue locker room attendant who spent the next ninety seconds in the bathroom frantically letting the air out of the balls... but only eleven of them because he ran out of time.

It was clear to me that a few days into this whole hullaballoo, it was all just a giant pile of bullshit. Haters are going to hate even when there is no tangible proof that the Patriots were directly responsible for the soft balls. For a brief moment, I thought it might actually dissuade me from caring about the Super Bowl. But then I stopped worrying about the consequences and now have joined the camp that believes this whole ordeal is a non-issue and just a reason for all those idiot former football players who think their opinions are important to bash a team that most likely has pounded on them in the past.

That disappointed me thought the Patriots were going to be damned if they did or damned if they didn't win. The won because they cheated or they lost because they couldn't cheat. But then I snapped out of it. With the mega-watt spotlight shining on this team right now, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they would or could ever cheat in the Super Bowl. Every commentator, reporter, NFL representative and official will have them under the world's most powerful microscope just waiting for them to slip up. The Patriots will be on their best behavior so if when they win, they win clean.

The Pats are Super Bowl Bound!!

My superstitious sports fan self won't let me say much more than HOLY CRAP, the Patriots are headed to Arizona and the friggin' Super Bowl!!!

Who could've predicted this turn of events after week four and that 41-14 lambasting they suffered at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs? The Pats were 2-2 and sports reporters and talk show hosts were calling for the end of Tom Brady. He was washed up. He sucked. He was too old and he needed to retire.

Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!

Tom doesn't like to be told he can't do something. So what did he do? Meh, not much. Just a 10-2 record for the rest of the season including seven straight wins after the loss to KC. And the #1 seed in the AFC. Yup. Then there was that thrilling come from behind win to beat the Ravens in the Divisional round. Oh and just a little bit of a trouncing of the Colts for the AFC title.

It's going to be a long two weeks, my Patriots fan friends.

Happy New Year! Now Get Writing... Oh and Football. Yay.

I think I had a case of blog burnout. For over six months, I've been unable to even so much as think about writing a blog post about sports. It used to be that all I wanted to talk about was sports, but after 365 days of all sports, I just couldn't. I needed to purge my mind. Plus, the fact that the Red Sox went from last to World Series champs back to last really took the wind out of my sails.

But then football season happened. I love football season. I love that every week is so crucial to a fan because there's only 17 of them in the regular season. And in the whole scheme of sports playoffs, football's is fleeting. NFL playoffs last less than a month and there are just 11 games so each one, for me, can't be missed. Even the teams I don't care about... which is most of them.

When the New England Patriots are in the mix, that's when it gets dicey. I have butterflies. I have anxiety. I have issues. You would think I was part of the team the way my insides turn to jelly. It's especially nerve wracking when they finish the regular season so weakly — barely beating the lowly Jets and then losing to the Bills in an unspectacular fashion. So basically, I'll be a mess come Saturday evening when the Ravens come to Foxboro!

But I digress... if I love football season so much, why couldn't I get back to writing about it? By the time I thought of it, it was too far into the season to risk jinxing the Patriots' amazing October run with Rah-Rah blog posts about how great they are and how Tom Brady isn't even close to retirement. Plus... I was still dealing with that whole burnout thing.

So it's a new year and new goals and resolutions and all that happy crap so back on the writing train I go. Plus, I'm convinced I'm getting stupider by the day by not writing. Especially after having the last 13 days off where I spent more time in my pajamas than out of them... watching endless hours of television and possibly drooling on myself a little bit.

Happy New Year to all... and I hope you'll visit Balls of All Sizes once in a while!

PS:  If the Patriots lose to the Ravens, I will completely blame this blog post. And myself.

Day 365: Party's Over... Said the Girl.

Opening Day (yay, baseball) is one of my most favorite days of the year—right behind Christmas (oooh, presents) and Thanksgiving (hmmm, food). The beginning of six months and 162 glorious games that will make me happy and sad and angry all in the span of nine innings.

Three hundred and sixty-five days ago, on Opening Day of the 2013 baseball season, I began a quest. That quest was to start a blog and post at least once a day about sports for a whole year. I wasn't sure I would have enough topics to write about. I wasn't sure if my discipline was strong enough to complete the task. And I certainly wasn't sure if people would read what I was putting out there. Well, that quest is now completed and now I sort of feel empty. Please hold me.

The Boston sports scene gave me more subject matter than I knew what to do with. I honestly don't think I could've written about a better year. Even though I started writing a week earlier, it really all started with my very first trip to Opening Day at Fenway Park—a gorgeous, sunshiny Monday afternoon that concluded with a Red Sox win. That day was full of promise and possibility after what had happened the previous disastrous year. And it just steamrolled from there.

There was the Boston Marathon bombing that unsettled an entire city and enlisted the sports community to rally Boston Strong around the tragedy. The Aaron Hernandez arrest for murder and the Patriots' subsequent release of the talented yet brainless tight end. The Boston Bruins incredibly determined run to the Stanley Cup final and heartbreaking loss. Let's not forget the magical World Series Championship season put forth by those lovable, bearded Red Sox—a worst-to-first miracle. And then there was the Patriots making a postseason run even after Wes Welker's departure and a yet again injured Rob Gronkowski—leaving Tom Brady with virtually no targets.

What I loved most about writing every day was the freedom to include whatever I wanted. There were no real rules—just as long as the post was about some type of sport. I loved being able to write about a good deed done by a baseball player, or a killer play made by a tiny person, or a sport that I knew absolutely nothing about, like sailing. I also loved being able to pay tribute to my parents on their birthdays for their part in this obsession and posting videos that made me giggle.

I also wanted to thank everyone who loyally followed Balls of All Sizes and didn't get annoyed that I spammed your Facebook timeline every single day. I know it was quite a commitment and I completely understand if you missed a day here and there. Thanks to those non-sports fans that supported me by reading even when, at times, you had no freaking clue what the hell I was writing about. And, even though he'll never read this post, thanks to my extremely understanding husband who could've gotten really annoyed at the hour plus I spent on putting forth what I hope was a somewhat intelligent blog post every single day for the past year.

Balls of All Sizes isn't going away... it's just taking a little siesta. There will be occasional posts, probably once or twice a week, after a little well-deserved break. I'd be lying if I said some days weren't just a bit stressful. I suffered from writer's block and brain cramps and drunky writing and oops, I almost forgot days. And there was that one time I thought it was over because I was on my way to Fenway for a evening game and I hadn't written anything—thank you iPads with 3G!!

And just like that... game one of 2014 is in the books. Unfortunately, unlike their Opening Day win a year ago, the Sox lose to the O's 2-1, leaving 12 men on base and wasting a perfectly good outing by Jon Lester. I was hoping to maybe end this quest on a high note. I'm trying to be optimistic that this isn't indicative of the season to come, but I'm a Sox fan—glass half empty, remember?

Anyway... the party's over. Elvis has left the building. The fat lady has sung.

PS: Bonus points if you can tell me what movie the title of this post comes from!

Day 361: Vince Wilfork is Staying in New England

There are some players that just belong with the New England Patriots. Some that you can't imagine wearing any other colors... a never donning a helmet that doesn't display the Flying Elvis. Tom Brady is one of those guys. I would probably die of heart failure if I ever saw him in a different uniform. And Vince Wilfork is one of those guys too, having been a huge (literally and figuratively) presence on this team since they drafted him in 2004.

The past few weeks have been tumultuous times between the New England Patriots and Vince Wilfork. A couple weeks ago, under the cloud of contract restructuring rumors, Vince decided he wanted to be released. He wanted no part of that restructuring crap—making less money was not appealing to him. But coming off an injury-shortened 2013 season, the Pats were looking to alleviate some of his $11.6 million due in 2014. And then it got real quiet... there was no word from either side... shit was eerily silent.

Then, earlier this week, there was a rumor that Wilfork cleared out his locker and angrily ripped his nameplate off at Gillette Stadium. Whut? What does that mean?? Sounded like Vince was pissed off at everyone and for fans, it appeared his departure was near.

But then... good news today! Recent reports say that the Patriots and Mr. Wilfork have finally found some common ground and have reached an acceptable restructured deal good for both sides. Although the particulars are not available, initial word says it's a 3-year deal worth $22.5 million. That's a pretty good gig for a big fella who turns 33 in November. Just hope that repaired achilles can hold up!

It just wouldn't have been the same without the hulking nose tackle. I'm glad he'll be back... and I think he is too. Vince issued this statement via Twitter:

Day 350: Patriots Sign Edelman and Two Brandons

Geez, I go away for the weekend and what happens? The Patriots start signing guys left and right. And here I was up in the boonies with no laptop! Oh well... more good news out of Foxboro so I guess that's the important thing.

When I heard that Julian Edelman was meeting with the San Francisco 49ers, I broke out into a cold sweat. I had horrible visions of a repeat of last off-season when Tom Brady's favorite target, Wes Welker, left the New England Patriots for a Rocky Mountain high. Edelman had taken over Welker's role as that pesky slot receiver that Brady just loved to hit over the middle. They couldn't lose Edelman too. He caught 105 passes which was the fourth most in the NFL last season, and led the NFL with 53 catches over the final six games of the regular season.

But fear not, there won't be another Welker drama. The Patriots and Julian Edelman agreed to a new contract on Saturday, but as it stands right now, the details of the deal have not been made public. I thought I saw somewhere that it was a three-year deal but I can't actually confirm that anywhere and I possibly just made that up. Who cares... I'm just happy they got a deal done and we're not faced with another situation.

I reported in Friday's post that there were rumors that the Pats were interested in signing Seattle Seahawks corner, Brandon Browner—a recent member of that Legion of Boom thingy. Those rumors are now the truth. New England signed the former Seahawk on Saturday to a reported three-year, $17.5 million contract. Browner, who just came off a Super Bowl Championship season, will be serving a suspension to start the 2014 season for violating the league's substance abuse policy. But all in all, he seems pleased with the opportunity to play in New England.

Today, I am proud to announce that I am a New England Patriot. I am honored that the Patriots are making me part of their legendary organization, and am grateful for the opportunity Mr. Kraft, Coach Belichick, Nick Caserio and the entire team have given me. I intend to diligently work with the same passion and dedication that I have displayed since coming into the NFL to uphold the great traditions and qualities that are embodied by the Patriots. I would be remiss if I didn’t thank the Seattle Seahawks for giving a CFL player the once in-a-lifetime opportunity to return to the NFL, making a young boy's dream come true. To Coach Pete Carroll, GM John Schneider, John Idzik, Coach Richard, Rocky Seto, the LOB, my teammates, the training staff, the equipment guys the Seahawks organization as a whole and most importantly the 12th Man, I say thank you for everything you have done for myself and my family. I am a truly blessed person.

The Patriots also locked up another target for Tom Brady, signing former Panthers receiver Brandon LaFell. At 6 feet 2 inches and 210 pounds, LaFell will give the Patriots' receiving core some much-needed size. He caught 49 passes for 627 yards and five touchdowns while starting all 16 games. He caught more passes than Kenbrell Thompkins (32) and Aaron Dobson (37) so I think if he studies that Patriots playbook hard, he could be very successful in New England.

It also doesn't appear that the Patriots are stopping just yet. They're scheduled to meet with former Tennessee Titan wide receiver, Kenny Britt. The 25-year-old Rutgers product caught just 11 passes for 96 yards in 12 games in 2013. Britt was with Tennessee for five seasons and in that time, caught a total of 157 passes for 2,450 yards and he was a first round draft pick in 2009. More importantly, Britt has size—at 6 feet 3 inches and 215 pounds, he would be the biggest wide receiver on the team by about six pounds.

Things are looking good for the Patriots for the upcoming season—now we just need to keep all these guys healthy! And if Gronk comes back in good shape and doesn't get broken again... oh, boy!

Day 348: Hello, Mr. Revis... Good-bye, Mr. Wilfork?

Lots of things happening with the New England Patriots right now—some good, some not so much. So do you want the good news or the bad news? I guess I'll start with the good so you'll be all happy and won't care when I drop the bad news bomb on you. We all know that in the past few years, the Patriots have struggled to field a respectable secondary. Sure, Aqib Talib provided strength on the left side, but in his season and a half with the Pats, he failed to play in every game.

So in an effort to do a better job taking away that deep threat for the opposing teams, the Patriots were able to get at least one big name and they could possibly get two. Darrelle Revis is the good news. I never thought I'd ever be writing those words. When he played for the Jets, I despised him and his Revis Island. I wanted nothing more than for him to disappear. But then he showed up on the radar—a free agent, looking for a home—a home that would give him a chance to win and get his name back in the spotlight. He signed a one-year, $12 million deal with the Pats.

There's also a rumor that the Patriots have been in talks with former Seattle Seahawks corner, Brandon Browner. The recent Super Bowl champion had previously been with Seattle for two seasons and played a big role in the Legion of Boom with Richard Sherman. No deal has been reported as of this posting, but Twitter is all a buzz with whispers that he cancelled his trip from Boston to DC to talk to the Redskins. Hmmm... Patriots... Redskins... is there really a question?

Now for some bad (or maybe it's just sad) news. Long-time Patriots' tackle, Vince Wilfork, has asked to be released. Wilfork has been with the Patriots his entire 10-year career and is currently in the last year of his most recent five-year contract and the Pats are asking him to restructure his deal to make room under the salary cap to sign some more big names—essentially some help for him. It's obvious that the Pats are putting forth their best effort to get Tom Brady another Super Bowl victory before he retires but Vince isn't interested in restructuring. So now he just wants to go...

It's understandable that he would feel slighted and wants to see what else is out there for him. He's coming off an injury-shortened season and he's 32 (old for a tackle). He's not at his most marketable right now. But he's been a run-stopping machine before and some other team might value his past performances enough to give him what he wants. We shall see where he lands.

Reports today also say that Patriots' wide receiver (and Bay area native), Julian Edelman, is currently meeting with the San Francisco 49ers. I don't like this. There has been no sign of any free agent receivers making the trip to New England so I'm sure I'm not the only Pats fan a bit nervous right now that we're going to see another Welker-like situation that leaves Brady with very few targets. Both Steve Smith and Hakeem Nicks are available, but neither have been seen talking with the Pats. I think one of those guys would make a great addition to the receiving core that also includes Edelman so let's not screw this up, Bill.

So there's still a lot of work to be done and, for the most part, it looks like the Patriots can't and won't make everyone happy. You know what would make me happy? That elusive, fourth Super Bowl win. Let's get that done.

Day 346: NFL Free Agency: It's Not Good for the Blood Pressure

All day my guts have been in a twist. I've been anxious and short with people and just sort of an all-around douche. At first, I couldn't figure out what was eating at me. And then I realized it was the stupid NFL free agency that's got my undies in a bundle. It's just downright nerve wracking.

It's even more of a killer when your favorite team *cough* New England Patriots *cough* has been virtually silent and has only managed to lose players. I was never a real Aqib Talib fan but shit, if they're going to let a guy like that go, they damn well better have someone just as good, if not better in the wings. That did NOT happen last season when Wes Welker jetted off to Denver and Tom Brady was left with a collection of mediocre receivers. So you can totally understand why I'd be a little gun shy.

So with Talib gone and Julian Edelman also hitting the free agent market, I'm definitely shaking in my boots. Despite winning the AFC East (which basically a team of chimps could've done last year), the Patriots are still riddled with holes. Edelman needs to be a priority. He was the only solid, consistent receiver last season with 105 catches. He managed to escape serious injury and provided Brady with a pretty stable (albeit vertically challenged) target. Even if they manage to get him to stay, they could still use another durable receiver to take some pressure off. Why are the Pats not on the radar for Eric Decker? Spend some money, for crying out loud!

But honestly, what's really making me crazy is the Darrelle Revis situation. The Tampa Bay Bucs released Revis today making him the #1 free agent right now and there are a lot of teams looking at him. The Patriots, Eagles, Jets, Giants and Falcons have all expressed interest in the five-time Pro Bowler. I just hope that Revis is taking into consideration which team he'll have the best chance of getting to the playoffs with (hint, hint)—in addition to the money, of course. Can't forget about the cashola!

Please oh please Mr. Belichick and Mr. Kraft... bring Revis Island to New England!!

THIS JUST IN: DARRELLE REVIS TO THE PATRIOTS!! ONE YEAR, $12 MILLION!! They must have heard my pleas!!

Day 309: The Most Watched Super Bowl Ever? Really?

So it's no secret I thought the Super Bowl sucked. If you weren't a Seattle Seahawks fan reveling in the beat down or a general Peyton Manning hater, it was a total yawn-fest. The fourth quarter was so incredibly painful to watch, I left it for the comfort of my latest read. I, for sure, would rather have my tonsils removed through my belly button than have to watch anyone on the Seahawks in an interview.

A lot of the late game uncomfortableness had to do with the Denver Broncos' lackadaisical approach to trying to make a comeback. Where was the hurry-up offense? Where was the sense of urgency? It was clearly all absent. The Broncos went fetal at the worst possible time. Did that football off the noggin on the first play of the game knock something loose in Peyton's brain? Or where they a bunch of impostors? A friend posted on Facebook: "Somewhere, all of the Broncos players are tied up in their underwear while the Raiders play in the Super Bowl wearing Broncos' uniforms." Yeah... it was just like that. (Thanks for the laugh, Jamie!) 

It's really unbelievable to me that this ridiculous 43-8 drubbing was the most watched Super Bowl ever. Seriously? I'll believe most mocked, but most watched? Get out of town. But it's true—111.5 million people watched this crap—the biggest blowout since Dallas clubbed Buffalo 52-17 in 1993. I'm assuming about 90 million of those people used the game as an excuse to eat absurdly large vats of food and wax poetic about the overpriced and mostly disappointing commercials. (Not Budweiser, they were my favorite.)

Five of the last six Super Bowls have been decided by less than a touchdown—two of those games featured my New England Patriots who lost both nail biters. I would've preferred one or both of those games ended a little differently... maybe with second stringers getting some snaps because the game was so far out of reach. I will say I was a bit envious of those 'Hawks fans just coasting to the presentation of the Lombardi Trophy without a care in the world.

I also have to wonder if any of the other 111,499,999 people noticed what I noticed. There's a common denominator in three of last seven Super Bowls for the losing team. There was a certain player that played in Super Bowl XLII, XLVI and XLVIII and lost all three. Yup, Wes Welker. I've come to the conclusion that this guy is bad news. He's a jinx, a curse and total hex. Someone very evil and very clever possesses a tiny little Wes Welker voodoo doll ensuring that any team he's a part of will never win the coveted Championship. Sorry, Peyton... you're stuck with him now.

I'm curious how many of those 111.5 million folks woke up this morning with no recollection of anything that happened after the muffed coin toss by one fur-cloaked (and possibly drunk) Joe Namath. Oh well... so long, football. See you next fall.

Day 308: All I Wanted was a Good Game. This Sucks.

I'm not a fan of sucky Super Bowls and this one is turning out to be just that for footballs fan who could care less about either team. I'm sure Seahawks fans are stoked (or toked *heehee*) and Denver fans are too stoned to realize their team is losing. I'm not going to lie, if the Patriots were playing and they were crushing their opponent like this, I'm be pretty pumped too.

All this hype of the best offensive team versus the best defensive team isn't boding so well for that high-flying offense. The defense is crazy tough and refuses to let Denver get into a rhythm. Peyton Manning has a serious case of the happy feet and just doesn't look comfortable. At all. But then again why would he after that horrific opening play of the game when the snap bounced off his helmet and into the wrong end zone for a safety.

Things just never could get on track for the bewildered Broncos. Also, the turnovers have absolutely detonated the Denver offense. There's no way you can turn the ball over three times against a defense of this caliber and get away with it. And because the Denver defense isn't nearly as tough as Seattle's, it's making the Seahawks offense look pretty good. Oh well, live and learn I guess...that's if Peyton ever makes it back to the Super Bowl again.

I imagine the half-time show was the most entertaining part of the night. And I missed it. I was in the car driving home to catch the second half at home and I missed it all. I probably would've been better off to have watched the damn half-time show and just missed the first half of the third quarter. I'm annoyed—mostly because I didn't think to at least set the DVR. D'oh.

Boredom is setting in. This game blows. I kinda just want to go to bed because I almost think sleep would be more exciting.

Well, at least this will quell all that talk about Peyton Manning being better than Tom Brady. For now, anyway.

Day 307: More Super Bowl Commercials... and Now for Some Funnies

It's no secret that I really could care less about the two teams playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. I mean, I'm rooting for Denver but all I really want is a good game and some great commercials. It has to be a good game, right? Both Denver and Seattle led their respective divisions with 13 wins and were both top seeds going into the playoffs. And how often does the Super Bowl feature the best offense versus the best defense? I'll tell you... it has only happened six times.

If you go back and review each of those games, the best defense won five of the six. Those statistics don't bode well for the Denver Broncos. As a matter of fact, the only best defensive team that didn't win the Super Bowl just happened to be the Broncos when they lost to San Francisco 55-10 in Super Bowl XXIV—the year Joe Montana won his fourth title. 

The other thing to keep in mind is that in four of those five wins for the best defense, that team also featured a future Hall of Fame quarterback driving the offense. Now that's just not fair. The best defense AND a kick ass quarterback—I imagine the shame factor would've been high had those teams not won it all. It's still too early to tell if Seattle's Russell Wilson is going to be that caliber of QB, but for now, let's just say he's not.

But I digress. The real purpose of this post is to talk about some more Super Bowl commercials. I recently stumbled across a couple of spots that totally cracked me up. One has a past tie to the Broncos and features former and brief NFL quarterback, Tim Tebow. Who knew the kid could pull this off? And considering I'm not a big fan of Tebow, this ad cracked me up.

The other commercial I found entertaining was also just a wee bit disturbing—but it also proves once again that dogs make everything better. Audi has historically been high on the list of best Super Bowl ads and they produced one of my favorites in 2012 called Vampire Party. But this year's spot is kitschy and somewhat troubling and completely not what I expected from the luxury car brand. And it made me totally guffaw.

Ok, I'm done with blog posts about commercials now. Maybe. I can't believe tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and then football will be over. {{flails}} Deep breaths... in exactly two weeks, pitchers and catchers report for the Red Sox!

Day 299: Bad Lip Reading: NFL Part Deux, Hello Little Piggy.

What better way to finish off the week than with a few laughs. Ok, maybe more than a few... seriously, I nearly wet my pants through most of this latest installment from the Bad Lip Reading folks. Even if you don't have an ounce of interest in sports of any kind, I guarantee you won't be able to keep a straight face during this video. I'm not sure what it is about the Bad Lip Reading stuff, but man, it's just brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you!

Many of my posts lately have been pretty long and wordy so I'm giving you a break tonight. Not much reading necessary, which is good if you had a brain-draining week like I did. Just give me three and half minutes of your time and you won't be sorry. I'm pretty sure Jim Harbaugh was custom-made for this shit. If you missed the first NFL edition of Bad Lip Reading, click HERE.

He crushed his cape! He crushed his fozzy cape! TGIF x 1000, peeps!!

Day 297: Super Bowl Sunday Snow? I Hope So!

For the first time ever, the Super Bowl will be played outdoors in a cold weather city. A week from Sunday, the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks will meet at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. In case you're not up on the current weather, MetLife is currently buried under over a foot of snow after the most recent winter storm.

There has been much speculation whether or not the NFL was smart to plan the Super Bowl for an area that could easily be engulfed in a blizzard, making it difficult for both fans and players to make it to the stadium. If the players can't get there, that makes playing the game rather hard. Since the 2014 Farmer's Almanac was releases late last year, there has been talk about whether or not its predictions for a major winter storm during Super Bowl weekend will hold true.

As it stands right now, 11 days before the big day, Weather.com is forecasting a high of 40 degrees with a chance of precipitation and the night time temps dropping to around 20. Doesn't sound so bad right now, but that's a week and a half away... so much can happen between now and then. And so far, the Almanac has been pretty spot on for the month of January.

Personally, I'm hoping for a snowy game. Please, please, please let it snow! The weather can play such a huge part in a football game—making it difficult to do just about everything so it makes it extra fun to watch. It's almost like the whole game is happening in slow motion with everyone slipping and sliding around. We've seen what happens to Peyton Manning when the weather goes bad and something tells me the Seahawks won't fare much better. Plus, Commissioner Roger Goodell is planning to sit outside and brave the element.

Remember week 14 and the Lions/Eagles game? I'm looking for something along those lines. Honestly, what's better than a snow angel touchdown celebration? Although Wes Welker was penalized and fined $10,000 in 2008 for doing just that... I say take the risk. It's way better than stupid dance.

Day 295: Why I'll Be Rooting for Denver on Super Bowl Sunday.

There's nothing worse as a football fan than to have your favorite team denied a trip to the Super Bowl in the final hour. I would almost prefer they just lose in the first round—if my hopes are going to be dashed, make it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Quick and relatively painless. But losing in the AFC Championship game is a slower pain for me...

Growing up, it was always my first instinct to root against the team that just beat my guys. But my dad always told me that I should actually cheer for that team because if they're good enough to beat my favorite team, then obviously they should be good enough to win it all. So I'm putting on my big girl pants and putting my pom poms behind Peyton and the Broncos.

Seattle Seahawks defensive back, Richard Sherman, had a little bit to do with that decision too. For a really smart guy, Sherman can be ridiculously stupid. I didn't realize he finished second in his high school graduating class and also graduated from Stanford with a degree in Communications. Something tells me that maybe he should be a little smarter about what he says and does on the football field.

Sherman is one of the best DB's in the NFL... and don't think he won't tell you that every chance he gets... modest is not a word used to describe this guy. Everyone knows you're good, Richard. There's no need to scream it on national television—you're actions in the closing minute of the NFC Championship were enough to prove that point. So why do you insist on doing things that make you the other kind of DB?

Sure, he was fired up after making the game saving play in the end zone. So why the horrible lack of sportsmanship? Was it really necessary to pat San Francisco's wide receiver, Michael Crabtree's butt after breaking up what could've been the game winning touchdown pass to him? Because I'm sure he doesn't feel awful enough without you swatting his ass or calling him out as a mediocre receiver in your post-game interview.

But what really bothered me was the choke sign he gave to the San Francisco team. Last time I checked, SF has five Lombardi trophies—more Super Bowl wins that Seattle has trips to the big game. Even if that wasn't the case, I really can't think of any gesture quite as classless as the choke sign... except maybe that Seattle fan that threw food at the injured 49er being carted off the field.

I have several Seattle friends and originally thought I would root for them. Russell Wilson seems like a nice young man. But this could possibly be Peyton's last chance and well, Richard Sherman says I should root for the Broncos.

Day 294: Well... Maybe Next Year, Patriots.

Since the launch of my Balls of All Sizes quest back on April 1, 2013, there has rarely been a shortage of topics on which to reflect. I've been lucky enough to pick a year where lots of newsworthy stuff has happened—some really amazing and some really bad—and I did my best to give attention to all of it. Even when I didn't want to.

From the Boston Marathon bombings, to the Bruins in (but losing) the Stanley Cup Finals, to the Aaron Hernandez murder charges, to the Red Sox winning the World Series, it's been a flood of subject matter. So after what the Bruins and Sox did, naturally I wanted the trifecta—the Patriots at least making it to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, Peyton Manning and the Broncos had other plans. Curses!

I'm not here to make excuses for the Patriots. They played a shitty game—it's as simple as that. I don't want to hear about the injuries or their lack of weapons because they've had to deal with those deficiencies nearly all season long and ended up with a 12-4 record and the #2 seed going in to the playoffs. They were just plain outplayed. Unfortunately, there would be no magical comeback today.

While I'm sad about the loss and as much as I hate doing it, I must give props to the Denver Broncos for coming up with a game plan based on the obvious weaknesses of the Patriots and sticking to that plan. Back in November, they exploited the Pats' lack of run defense by rushing for over 250 yards. In the AFC Championship, the Broncos took advantage of New England's weak secondary and Manning picked them apart for 400 yards passing.

That's all I can muster tonight... Now pardon me while I go cry in my mac and cheese. Until next year...

Day 293: Why Do I Have the Pre-Game Jitters?

It's been a long week waiting for AFC Championship Sunday to arrive and now that it's almost here, I find myself a bundle of nerves. Why? I'm not playing in the game, I'm not coaching the team (well...maybe a little from my couch) and I don't own the Patriots either. I'm just a fan...a very nervous (and ridiculously superstitious) fan.

I've been incessantly listening to sports talk radio this whole week. Listening to the Boston stations talk about how much Tom Brady owns Peyton Manning and that we have nothing to worry about. Listening to them talk about the postseason records of each quarterback and using those stats to make an argument for how it's virtually impossible for the Patriots to lose this game.

All I can think is: SHUT UP, YOU'RE GOING TO JINX THEM!!

Yup, that's how I think...but if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know how irrational I can be when it comes to my superstitions. I did notice that the jeans and Pats t-shirt I wore during their win over the Colts still sit in the bedroom unwashed. That's a good thing, right? I didn't wash any good juju out of my outfit.

I'm not going to lie...I was nervous wearing this particular t-shirt last week because the only other time I wore it was during that horrible game against Carolina—and we all know how that one ended. So you probably can imagine my relief when they won. I really like the t-shirt and I would be sad to have to burn it. Although if bad things happen on Sunday, it's curtains for that thing.

But now I'm trying to remember what socks I wore. Mom? Do you remember? And I'm wondering if the change in the viewing location will work against me? Last week we watched the first half at my parents' house and the second half at home. This week we're planning to watch the whole game at home. And what about my dinner choices? Do I have to eat a meatball sub exactly as I did last Saturday night, or can I stick with my previously planned crock pot mac and cheese?

My brain can't handle all the questions and second guesses floating around in it! I guess I shouldn't over think it too much... Go Pats!

Day 292: Twelfth Man Blues for the Broncos

The all-important 12th Man is something most professional football teams count on. Really... what's the sense of home field advantage if your fans can't do their part to help you win? If you're not quite sure what I'm talking about, think about the loudest cheering you've ever heard. That's the 12th Man. It's that extra something that makes it difficult for visiting teams to communicate plays and it generally throws (or is supposed to throw) them off their game.

Some stadiums are louder than others—I'm guessing it depends on the configuration of the field. If a field has overhanging canopies or aluminum bleachers, shit gets real loud, real fast. I've been to Gillette Stadium for a Patriots game and one end of the field is open and I swear, all the sound flies out that end. It never sounds really loud in that place and it kind of bums me out a bit.

But then you have places like CenturyLink Field in Seattle and Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. These two arenas lead the way as the two loudest crowds in the NFL and both held the Guinness World Record for loudest crowd noise at some point this past season. And Seattle's rowdy fans actually registered on the Richter scale during one game.

Other teams need to go a step further with their home field advantage because maybe they don't trust their 12th Man to show up. Understandable in Denver where they're probably all stoned. The Broncos organization is so nervous that their fans will be out-cheered, they've limited the ticket sales to exclude certain states—Massachusetts being one. Basically they want Sports Authority Field at Mile High to be a sea of orange with not a Flying Elvis or Tom Brady jersey to be seen.

An article by Mark Kiszla from the Denver Post referenced the 2006 AFC Championship when the Broncos hosted the Pittsburgh Steelers. Swarms of Terrible Towel-wielding Steelers fans descended on the stadium, essentially negating home field advantage for the Broncos and shaking up veteran sissies players. In the article, former defensive back, John Lynch recalls walking out for a pre-game warm-up to a sea of yellow and being ruined for the entire game.

Now here's where I call bullshit. Are you telling me that Denver Broncos' psyches are so fragile that they need to limit what fans can attend the game? Sounds like a conspiracy to me. Sounds like Tom Brady and company need to march in there and kick some of that orange ass. Sounds like poor wittle Peyton Manning and Wuss Wes Welker need their blankies to comfort them in the big, bad football world.

Get over yourself, Denver.

Day 288: Julian Edelman: Star Wide Receiver or Smoothie King?

Most know New England Patriots' wide receiver Julian Edelman for his sure hands, quick feet and fearlessness on the football field. With the departure of Wes Welker this past off-season, Edelman was thrust into the spotlight as a main target for Tom Brady. He stepped up to the challenge and had the best year of his career catching 105 balls for 1,056 total yards and six touchdowns.

What you might not know is that he possesses some culinary talents as well. It has come to my attention that Julian Edelman might also be known as the Smoothie King. In the video below, JE11 is seen making a Cake Batter Supreme smoothie—and it looks deeeee-licious! He's also wearing a florescent green fanny pack but I'm going to let that slide because it seemed to be serving as a storage place for some of his ingredients.

I'm not sure of a few things... first, why he felt the need to shed his t-shirt when it was time to add the protein powder? Second, does the sexy, icy stare while blending help make the smoothie taste better? And why, for the love of all that is holy, does he still have that hideous fanny pack on while skateboarding?

 

Care to follow Chef Julian on Twitter? You can... click here. Who knows what flavor smoothie he'll come up with next?

Day 287: Patriots are Headed to the AFC Championship Game!

Well, that was fun! The New England Patriots are going back to the AFC Championship game after beating the Indianapolis Colts 43-22 Saturday night. The Colts put up a pretty good fight for a good portion of the game and at one point were down just six points. But the Patriots were all like, I don't think so, and put a foot to the throat of the Colts early in the fourth quarter and never let up.

If the Colts had been playing anyone else, I would've been rooting for them. I like Andrew Luck. Out of the core of good, young quarterbacks in the NFL right now, he seems to have the best head on his shoulders. He's not as cocky and mouthy as some of the others—like the two who played Sunday afternoon. With Andrew Luck at the helm, Indy is capable of of great things... but the interceptions will get ya every time. And throwing four INTs against the New England Patriots is not advised. They will make you pay.

Tom Brady didn't really factor into this game much—he went 13-for-25 with 198 passing yards, no touchdowns and no interceptions. He was basically on the field to keep the defense honest and mix in a passing play here and there. He did connect with Julian Edelman six times for 84 yards. The real story here is the running game. After LeGarrette Blount exploded for a career day in the final game of the regular season, I'm sure I wasn't the only one wondering if it was a fluke. Or is this guy really that good?

I think at this point in time we can say Blount is really that good after his second consecutive spectacular game. And this time, it counted just a little more. He rushed 24 times for 166 yards and four touchdowns. FOUR! His longest run was 73 yards which of course, was for one of his TDs. Normally I'm more of a high-flying passing fan but this kid is seriously fun to watch.

There was a bit of sadness over the Patriots' game on Saturday though. Remember that post I did back in October about the Foxboro teenager, Sam Berns? He's the kid battling a rare, rapid-aging disease called Progeria who had befriended Robert Kraft. Well, just a day before Sam was to serve as honorary captain for the Patriots in their playoff game against the Colts, the 17-year-old passed away.

Robert Kraft, who had a special relationship with the young man, issued a statement following Sam's death on Friday night. (Click the link to read the whole thing.)

“I loved Sam Berns and am richer for having known him. He was a special young man whose inspirational story and positive outlook on life touched my heart. I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to spend time with him and to get to know his incredible family.”

I'm glad the Pats won this game for Sam.

Day 286: Nobody Puts Tom Brady in the Corner.

Did you hear about this guy, Vinnie Iyer, from The Sporting News and the article he wrote this past week? He decided to rank the eight remaining NFL quarterbacks left in the playoffs. He based his rankings on different aspects of the game: arm strength, mobility, pocket presence, intangibles, blah blah, and then ranked the QBs within each area and assigned points. His results are a little shocking and kind of stupid.

Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck and Russell Wilson all scored 28 points to put them tied for first. Drew Brees came in fourth with 22 points and Cam Newton was fifth with 21 points. Phillip Rivers and Colin Kaepernick each scored 19 points to tie for sixth place. And then... in the lonely last place spot (the corner, as I like to call it) is Tom Brady, scoring just a 15 on Iyer's stupid point system. Wait... did I call it stupid already?

So the fact that Tom Brady has more Super Bowl wins than the other seven quarterbacks combined means nothing? Or that the Patriots have had to deal with both major personnel changes AND major losses to injuries means nothing? What about the NFL-leading five fourth-quarter comebacks and five game-winning drives this season? Nothing?

Sure, Tom Brady didn't have his best season statistically. He didn't blow the doors off any records or anything like that. Instead, he methodically lead a team of new guys, rookies and replacements to a 12-4 record, good for the second seed in the AFC and a first round bye. Back in December, this article on the Bleacher Report hit the nail on the head with this statement about Brady: "He's reverted back to his pre-2007 ways of squeezing maximum production out of minimum talent."Amen.

I dunno... call me crazy but I'd rather have a proven veteran at the helm going into these high-stress games. Someone who has demonstrated the ability to lead his team in all sorts of weather and all sorts of situations. Someone who never gives up—no matter how many points separate him from his opponent. A two-time Super Bowl MVP, perhaps?