Deflategate Be Damned: Tom Brady Says Those Balls Were Perfect.

When I first heard about this thing called "Deflategate" last Monday morning, my heart sank. I couldn't have felt more disappointed to think that the New England Patriots could have purposely deflated their game balls to gain an advantage in the AFC Championship. I was crushed. This is not the distraction fans in New England needed in the two weeks leading up to Tom Brady's sixth appearance in the Super Bowl.

After the dreaded "spygate" scandal that named my favorite team a bunch of cheaters, my fan psyche was fragile. I despised the fact that many felt the Patriots couldn't win another championship without cheating. This under inflated ball controversy was just one more incident to get those haters up in arms about punishing and penalizing and disciplining this team. Some critics even called for the NFL to ban the Pats from participating in the Super Bowl all for a couple of flat-ish balls.

We've heard every argument in support and against these accusations. And many of the teams' backers have vehemently maintained a football that was deflated less than two psi under the league requirement could not be the reason the Patriots destroyed the Indianapolis Colts by 38 points. Even D'Quell Jackson, who intercepted a Tom Brady pass and was reported to have brought attention to the deflated ball, says he had nothing to do with it. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

So the Patriots are forced to defend themselves to the media and present technical evidence as to what happened to the balls after they were approved by the officials. Bill Belichick turned into a mad scientific with experiments and facts on the effects of atmospheric conditions on leather balls. Tom Brady is raked over the coals as to why he didn't notice the balls were under inflated because all these moronic reporters actually think once the ball is hiked and the play is happening that Brady has time to squeeze the ball and think to himself, "huh, that feels soft. I should report this to someone." (If anything, these press conferences have been a treasure trove of completely awesome soundbites.)

And then we hear that the balls were presented to the officials not properly inflated but the balls were approved. Or that because of a delay in the starting time of the AFC Championship game, the balls were in the possession of some rogue locker room attendant who spent the next ninety seconds in the bathroom frantically letting the air out of the balls... but only eleven of them because he ran out of time.

It was clear to me that a few days into this whole hullaballoo, it was all just a giant pile of bullshit. Haters are going to hate even when there is no tangible proof that the Patriots were directly responsible for the soft balls. For a brief moment, I thought it might actually dissuade me from caring about the Super Bowl. But then I stopped worrying about the consequences and now have joined the camp that believes this whole ordeal is a non-issue and just a reason for all those idiot former football players who think their opinions are important to bash a team that most likely has pounded on them in the past.

That disappointed me thought the Patriots were going to be damned if they did or damned if they didn't win. The won because they cheated or they lost because they couldn't cheat. But then I snapped out of it. With the mega-watt spotlight shining on this team right now, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they would or could ever cheat in the Super Bowl. Every commentator, reporter, NFL representative and official will have them under the world's most powerful microscope just waiting for them to slip up. The Patriots will be on their best behavior so if when they win, they win clean.

The Pats are Super Bowl Bound!!

My superstitious sports fan self won't let me say much more than HOLY CRAP, the Patriots are headed to Arizona and the friggin' Super Bowl!!!

Who could've predicted this turn of events after week four and that 41-14 lambasting they suffered at the hands of the Kansas City Chiefs? The Pats were 2-2 and sports reporters and talk show hosts were calling for the end of Tom Brady. He was washed up. He sucked. He was too old and he needed to retire.

Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!

Tom doesn't like to be told he can't do something. So what did he do? Meh, not much. Just a 10-2 record for the rest of the season including seven straight wins after the loss to KC. And the #1 seed in the AFC. Yup. Then there was that thrilling come from behind win to beat the Ravens in the Divisional round. Oh and just a little bit of a trouncing of the Colts for the AFC title.

It's going to be a long two weeks, my Patriots fan friends.

Day 309: The Most Watched Super Bowl Ever? Really?

So it's no secret I thought the Super Bowl sucked. If you weren't a Seattle Seahawks fan reveling in the beat down or a general Peyton Manning hater, it was a total yawn-fest. The fourth quarter was so incredibly painful to watch, I left it for the comfort of my latest read. I, for sure, would rather have my tonsils removed through my belly button than have to watch anyone on the Seahawks in an interview.

A lot of the late game uncomfortableness had to do with the Denver Broncos' lackadaisical approach to trying to make a comeback. Where was the hurry-up offense? Where was the sense of urgency? It was clearly all absent. The Broncos went fetal at the worst possible time. Did that football off the noggin on the first play of the game knock something loose in Peyton's brain? Or where they a bunch of impostors? A friend posted on Facebook: "Somewhere, all of the Broncos players are tied up in their underwear while the Raiders play in the Super Bowl wearing Broncos' uniforms." Yeah... it was just like that. (Thanks for the laugh, Jamie!) 

It's really unbelievable to me that this ridiculous 43-8 drubbing was the most watched Super Bowl ever. Seriously? I'll believe most mocked, but most watched? Get out of town. But it's true—111.5 million people watched this crap—the biggest blowout since Dallas clubbed Buffalo 52-17 in 1993. I'm assuming about 90 million of those people used the game as an excuse to eat absurdly large vats of food and wax poetic about the overpriced and mostly disappointing commercials. (Not Budweiser, they were my favorite.)

Five of the last six Super Bowls have been decided by less than a touchdown—two of those games featured my New England Patriots who lost both nail biters. I would've preferred one or both of those games ended a little differently... maybe with second stringers getting some snaps because the game was so far out of reach. I will say I was a bit envious of those 'Hawks fans just coasting to the presentation of the Lombardi Trophy without a care in the world.

I also have to wonder if any of the other 111,499,999 people noticed what I noticed. There's a common denominator in three of last seven Super Bowls for the losing team. There was a certain player that played in Super Bowl XLII, XLVI and XLVIII and lost all three. Yup, Wes Welker. I've come to the conclusion that this guy is bad news. He's a jinx, a curse and total hex. Someone very evil and very clever possesses a tiny little Wes Welker voodoo doll ensuring that any team he's a part of will never win the coveted Championship. Sorry, Peyton... you're stuck with him now.

I'm curious how many of those 111.5 million folks woke up this morning with no recollection of anything that happened after the muffed coin toss by one fur-cloaked (and possibly drunk) Joe Namath. Oh well... so long, football. See you next fall.

Day 308: All I Wanted was a Good Game. This Sucks.

I'm not a fan of sucky Super Bowls and this one is turning out to be just that for footballs fan who could care less about either team. I'm sure Seahawks fans are stoked (or toked *heehee*) and Denver fans are too stoned to realize their team is losing. I'm not going to lie, if the Patriots were playing and they were crushing their opponent like this, I'm be pretty pumped too.

All this hype of the best offensive team versus the best defensive team isn't boding so well for that high-flying offense. The defense is crazy tough and refuses to let Denver get into a rhythm. Peyton Manning has a serious case of the happy feet and just doesn't look comfortable. At all. But then again why would he after that horrific opening play of the game when the snap bounced off his helmet and into the wrong end zone for a safety.

Things just never could get on track for the bewildered Broncos. Also, the turnovers have absolutely detonated the Denver offense. There's no way you can turn the ball over three times against a defense of this caliber and get away with it. And because the Denver defense isn't nearly as tough as Seattle's, it's making the Seahawks offense look pretty good. Oh well, live and learn I guess...that's if Peyton ever makes it back to the Super Bowl again.

I imagine the half-time show was the most entertaining part of the night. And I missed it. I was in the car driving home to catch the second half at home and I missed it all. I probably would've been better off to have watched the damn half-time show and just missed the first half of the third quarter. I'm annoyed—mostly because I didn't think to at least set the DVR. D'oh.

Boredom is setting in. This game blows. I kinda just want to go to bed because I almost think sleep would be more exciting.

Well, at least this will quell all that talk about Peyton Manning being better than Tom Brady. For now, anyway.

Day 307: More Super Bowl Commercials... and Now for Some Funnies

It's no secret that I really could care less about the two teams playing in the Super Bowl on Sunday. I mean, I'm rooting for Denver but all I really want is a good game and some great commercials. It has to be a good game, right? Both Denver and Seattle led their respective divisions with 13 wins and were both top seeds going into the playoffs. And how often does the Super Bowl feature the best offense versus the best defense? I'll tell you... it has only happened six times.

If you go back and review each of those games, the best defense won five of the six. Those statistics don't bode well for the Denver Broncos. As a matter of fact, the only best defensive team that didn't win the Super Bowl just happened to be the Broncos when they lost to San Francisco 55-10 in Super Bowl XXIV—the year Joe Montana won his fourth title. 

The other thing to keep in mind is that in four of those five wins for the best defense, that team also featured a future Hall of Fame quarterback driving the offense. Now that's just not fair. The best defense AND a kick ass quarterback—I imagine the shame factor would've been high had those teams not won it all. It's still too early to tell if Seattle's Russell Wilson is going to be that caliber of QB, but for now, let's just say he's not.

But I digress. The real purpose of this post is to talk about some more Super Bowl commercials. I recently stumbled across a couple of spots that totally cracked me up. One has a past tie to the Broncos and features former and brief NFL quarterback, Tim Tebow. Who knew the kid could pull this off? And considering I'm not a big fan of Tebow, this ad cracked me up.

The other commercial I found entertaining was also just a wee bit disturbing—but it also proves once again that dogs make everything better. Audi has historically been high on the list of best Super Bowl ads and they produced one of my favorites in 2012 called Vampire Party. But this year's spot is kitschy and somewhat troubling and completely not what I expected from the luxury car brand. And it made me totally guffaw.

Ok, I'm done with blog posts about commercials now. Maybe. I can't believe tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday and then football will be over. {{flails}} Deep breaths... in exactly two weeks, pitchers and catchers report for the Red Sox!

Day 306: Budweiser's Gone and Done it Again {{SOB}}

Each year as the Super Bowl approaches, we start to hear about the commercials advertisers are planning to run during the big game. And nowadays, with that whole internet thing, we even get to preview the spots before they air on television. With a national price tag of around $4 million for a 30-second commercial, it's imperative that the creative teams but their best ideas forward. Some products fail miserably while others keep raising the bar higher and higher every year.

Budweiser is one of those companies that continues to up the ante each February, putting forth commercials that make me cry every damn time. Each year, there's another installment featuring the ever popular Budweiser Clydesdales and each year, the commercials tug just a little more at the heart strings. Who can forget last years' Bud spot titled "Brotherhood"? Still to this day, I can't watch this one without the tears.

I honestly didn't think they could top the 2013 ad. It was a perfectly crafted story wrapped up in a 60-second commercial. I was anxious to see what the masterminds responsible for thinking up these tales would come up with for Super Bowl XLVIII. Let's just say that I am in awe of the genius minds at Anomaly, the agency responsible for the spots. Get yer tissues ready for "Puppy Love"—the only thing better than horses is puppies and horses. This might be my favorite commercial ever in the history of commercials.

I thought Bud only bought one spot in the game. I was wrong. They're running two 60-second commercials in the Super Bowl. The second spot is titled "A Hero's Welcome" and features a soldier's return home to a giant celebration. The only thing that would've made this commercial better is if the woman at the airport had a puppy with her. Puppies make everything better. 

Remember earlier in this post when I mentioned how much the 30-second spots were? I think you can do the math. But I don't blame them for spending such a huge chunk of dough. These commercials make me want to buy cases of Budweiser. 

Bravo, Bud... you just get it.

Day 297: Super Bowl Sunday Snow? I Hope So!

For the first time ever, the Super Bowl will be played outdoors in a cold weather city. A week from Sunday, the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks will meet at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. In case you're not up on the current weather, MetLife is currently buried under over a foot of snow after the most recent winter storm.

There has been much speculation whether or not the NFL was smart to plan the Super Bowl for an area that could easily be engulfed in a blizzard, making it difficult for both fans and players to make it to the stadium. If the players can't get there, that makes playing the game rather hard. Since the 2014 Farmer's Almanac was releases late last year, there has been talk about whether or not its predictions for a major winter storm during Super Bowl weekend will hold true.

As it stands right now, 11 days before the big day, Weather.com is forecasting a high of 40 degrees with a chance of precipitation and the night time temps dropping to around 20. Doesn't sound so bad right now, but that's a week and a half away... so much can happen between now and then. And so far, the Almanac has been pretty spot on for the month of January.

Personally, I'm hoping for a snowy game. Please, please, please let it snow! The weather can play such a huge part in a football game—making it difficult to do just about everything so it makes it extra fun to watch. It's almost like the whole game is happening in slow motion with everyone slipping and sliding around. We've seen what happens to Peyton Manning when the weather goes bad and something tells me the Seahawks won't fare much better. Plus, Commissioner Roger Goodell is planning to sit outside and brave the element.

Remember week 14 and the Lions/Eagles game? I'm looking for something along those lines. Honestly, what's better than a snow angel touchdown celebration? Although Wes Welker was penalized and fined $10,000 in 2008 for doing just that... I say take the risk. It's way better than stupid dance.

Day 295: Why I'll Be Rooting for Denver on Super Bowl Sunday.

There's nothing worse as a football fan than to have your favorite team denied a trip to the Super Bowl in the final hour. I would almost prefer they just lose in the first round—if my hopes are going to be dashed, make it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Quick and relatively painless. But losing in the AFC Championship game is a slower pain for me...

Growing up, it was always my first instinct to root against the team that just beat my guys. But my dad always told me that I should actually cheer for that team because if they're good enough to beat my favorite team, then obviously they should be good enough to win it all. So I'm putting on my big girl pants and putting my pom poms behind Peyton and the Broncos.

Seattle Seahawks defensive back, Richard Sherman, had a little bit to do with that decision too. For a really smart guy, Sherman can be ridiculously stupid. I didn't realize he finished second in his high school graduating class and also graduated from Stanford with a degree in Communications. Something tells me that maybe he should be a little smarter about what he says and does on the football field.

Sherman is one of the best DB's in the NFL... and don't think he won't tell you that every chance he gets... modest is not a word used to describe this guy. Everyone knows you're good, Richard. There's no need to scream it on national television—you're actions in the closing minute of the NFC Championship were enough to prove that point. So why do you insist on doing things that make you the other kind of DB?

Sure, he was fired up after making the game saving play in the end zone. So why the horrible lack of sportsmanship? Was it really necessary to pat San Francisco's wide receiver, Michael Crabtree's butt after breaking up what could've been the game winning touchdown pass to him? Because I'm sure he doesn't feel awful enough without you swatting his ass or calling him out as a mediocre receiver in your post-game interview.

But what really bothered me was the choke sign he gave to the San Francisco team. Last time I checked, SF has five Lombardi trophies—more Super Bowl wins that Seattle has trips to the big game. Even if that wasn't the case, I really can't think of any gesture quite as classless as the choke sign... except maybe that Seattle fan that threw food at the injured 49er being carted off the field.

I have several Seattle friends and originally thought I would root for them. Russell Wilson seems like a nice young man. But this could possibly be Peyton's last chance and well, Richard Sherman says I should root for the Broncos.