Friday, September 6, 2013

Day 159: Football is Back, Bitches!

Football, football, football! It's that football time of year. Fall is right around the corner, the air is crisp and cool... well maybe it wasn't exactly crisp or cool in Denver last night, but crisp air is coming soon! The first game of the NFL season customarily features the reigning Super Bowl Champs as hosts, so Thursday night saw the *gag* Baltimore Ravens *vomit* take on the Denver Broncos.

There was just one problem. The game wasn't in Baltimore. Seems the NFL... the king of all sports... couldn't strong arm the Orioles into moving their scheduled night game back a few hours, and the city of Baltimore wouldn't allow the two teams to play at the same time due to their close proximity. What a shit show that would've been. But really Orioles? This is football—they play one game a week.

So the NFL moved the game to Denver and then plastered the stadium with giant Joe Flacco faces. If there was ever a reason for the Broncos to go out and kick some Raven ass, this was it. Fans were incensed. Peyton and the boys needed to show them exactly whose house they were in. Plus, they were looking for revenge from the loss the Ravens handed them in the divisional round of last year's playoffs. The cards were stacked against Baltimore from the get-go.

After a 33 minute weather delay due to a lightening storm in the area, the two teams took the field. Baltimore struck first about halfway through the first quarter and surprisingly the Ravens held a 17-14 lead at the half. The Broncos opened the second half with a touchdown to take a 21-17 lead and never looked back. The final score: 49-27. *whip cracking sound*

As much as I hate to admit it, Peyton Manning was awesome. His stats were astounding—he went 27-for-42 for 462 yards, seven touchdown passes, no interceptions and a QB rating of 141.1. That seven touchdown performance ties a league record and hasn't been done since 1969. Of the six quarterbacks who have ever accomplished that feat, Manning is one of just two that did it without a pick.

Our old friend Wuss Wes Welker held his own last night. He caught nine passes—the most of any Broncos receivers—for 67 yards and he scored two touchdowns. However... Welker did muff a punt at his the Denver four yard line which lead to an easy Ravens score. So that made me snicker a bit. And it also raised the question as to why he even attempted to catch the ball and didn't just let it bounce into the end zone for a touchback. Maybe he thought *twitch* Bill Belichick would *twitch* yell at him if he didn't *twitch* try to catch it. Snap out of it Wuss Wes...

Now it's time to bring on the Patriots! Bring on Tom Brady and Danny Amendola and Vince Wilfork. Bring on the snacks and beer and comfy spot on the couch. And bring on a rain shower at about 1pm so I don't feel guilty about not being outside on a beautiful day. I can't wait for Sunday!

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