Day 285: Giving Bill Belichick a Reason to Smile

The New England Patriots have made the playoffs again this year—something that has become more expected than hoped for with this team. Since Bill Belichick took over the head coaching duties for the Pats back in 2000, they've missed the post season just three times with only one sub-.500 year. They've made it to the Super Bowl five times, winning it all three. He has a trio of Coach of the Year awards, including one in 2007 when the Patriots finished the regular season 16-0.

A lot of really good stuff has happened to Belichick during his time in New England. He pretty much controls every aspect of the team. He probably makes a bajillion dollars. He gets to coach Tom Brady. He can be really vague and assholish to the media and it's just how he is so he can get away with it. Seriously? I'd be smiling like the cat who ate the canary. But not this guy.

It's no secret that Bill Belichick isn't the most smiley guy on the planet so when he does turn his frown upside down, it's something to be documented. Because his grins are so rare, the Wall Street Journal took to the post-game press conference footage to document each and every time this infrequent occurrence transpired. In case you're wondering, that's 114.5 minutes of footage to comb through to find something about as easy to locate as a needle in a haystack.

For a guy who wins more often than he loses, he has a lot of reasons to smile. But he doesn't. I have to wonder if smiling pains him. Maybe deep down inside, he's ridiculously happy but it's hurts too much to show it. In the end, the Wall Street Journal concluded that Belichick smiled just seven times and even threw in a laugh—but just one of those. Laughing must really hurt him. If so, maybe he should try cartwheels instead.

Of course, all seven previous smiles took place after wins so I'm really hoping the Patriots give him a reason to do it again on Saturday.