Monday, December 2, 2013

Day 246: Dog Vomit and Cheaters

This was the first time in 246 days I actually thought my streak was going to end. That's what non-stop dog vomit will do to a girl. Both dogs. Gross. It was almost as gross as the accusations made by Houston Texans defender (and obvious Rhodes Scholar) Antonio Smith that the New England Patriots could only have beaten the Texans by cheating.

According to Smith, it's really the only explanation as to how Tom Brady and the Patriots managed to come out after half time, erase a 10 point deficit and go on the handily beat the struggling Texans. Or could it possibly be...ohhhhh...maybe some adjustments made by Bill Belichick and crew to find the weakest part of the defense and exploit the shit out of it? Nah, clearly the Pats were cheating.
“Either teams are spying on us or scouting us . . . I don’t know what it is,” Smith said after the loss. “We had some ways that we were going to play this week that just got put in this week, and it was just miraculous that they changed up some things that they did on offense and keyed on what we put in this week to stop what they were doing. It was things that they had never done before out here. It just seems miraculous to me.”
Smith couldn't give any specific examples of plays where he believed trickery was taking place. I guess he just assumes that any team that could come out and erase the Texan's 10 point lead had to be pulling a fast one. In fact, maybe he should go back and look at the last 10 games straight that they've lost...there must be a hell of a lot of cheating going on. Let's not even mentioned that Houston has blown five straight first half leads... that seems miraculous to me.
“You would have to be a descendant of Tonestradamus [Nostradamus] to know what we put in this week to be able to change that fast,” Smith said. “It is a specific thing that was important to what we were going to do today, to how we would call the defense. They changed it up in a way to where you were in in-decision in calling the defense that way. There’s no way . . . we have not done it ever before and they had never changed it ever before. So it was just kind of fishy how it got changed. It just let me know that something just ain’t right.”
Obviously this guy has never played for a team where a coaching staff is observant and crafty enough to make the proper adjustments to win. Yeah... that's real fishy, genius.

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