A Farewell to #34

Balls of All Sizes has been pretty quiet in the past 17 months but there are certain people who just deserved to be memorialized. David Ortiz is one.

Well... the Red Sox 2016 season came to a screeching halt on Monday after a horribly lackluster performance in the ALDS losing three straight to the Terry Francona-helmed Cleveland Indians and with it, the hallowed career of Mr. David Ortiz... Big Papi... #34. This loss was incredibly disappointing for a team that led the majors in runs per game, total runs, hits, doubles, RBI, batting average, on-base percentage, slugging, OPS and total bases. They had three players finish in the top 10 for batting average for crying out loud! But after winning 19 games in September (including an 11 game winning streak), they hobbled into the playoffs with silent bats and a pitching staff lacking confidence.

But this story isn't about the Red Sox failure to perform... this story is about a career so magical it was very nearly unbelievable. This story is about a guy who was released by the Minnesota Twins at the age of 27 and given a one-year contract with the Red Sox on the word of Pedro Martinez. This story is about a guy who went on to become the heart of Boston.

When Big Papi arrived in Boston for the 2003 season, the Sox had been relegated to 2nd place behind the powerhouse (and extremely annoying) New York Yankees for several seasons in the midst of winning three consecutive World Series. Painful with a capital P. And 2003 wasn't any less traumatic when Aaron Boone hit an ALCS Game 7 walk-off home run in the bottom of the 11th to send the Sox home. But it was only Ortiz's first season. Clearly, the best was still yet to come.

Who knows what happened during the winter of 2003-04 with Big Papi, but he was a greatly improved player in 2004. And we all know how that season ended... An amazing ALCS where the Sox finally got revenge on the Yankees by coming back from a 3-0 deficit for a trip to the World Series. Ortiz won the ALCS MVP after batting .387 with 3 home runs and 11 RBI. The Sox went on to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals and win their first World Series in 86 years. Goodbye, Curse and Hello Blessing... a blessing in the form of a Big Papi!

David Oritz went on to spend the next 14 seasons delighting Red Sox Nation. A 10-time All-Star, 6-time Silver Slugger winner, and the most important title of all, 3-time World Series Champion. I've been a Red Sox fan my whole life and I often wondered if they would ever win just ONE more World Series so THREE has been a dream come true. He hit 541 total home runs landing himself at #17 on the all-time list sandwiched between Mike Schmidt (548) and Mickey Mantle (536). Not too shabby.

In 2013, Ortiz unofficially took back the city of Boston after terrorists bombed the finish line of the Boston Marathon and not only inspired the community but sparked a team of bearded ballplayers to rally around their broken city and propel the team to their third World Series Championship. Why? Because this is our f#@*ing city!

And then on November 18, 2015, his 40th birthday, Big Papi announced his retirement. Sadness and disbelief settled on the Red Sox fandom. And we all wondered... has he lost his edge? Is he no longer confident in his ability to hit the ball as he once did? Or maybe he's just tired of the aches and pains associated with a twenty-year career...

Ortiz spent the 2016 MLB season on a farewell tour but also showed NO signs that he was a forty-year-old in his final season. He finished in the top 10 in batting average, bashed 38 home runs (the most by any player in his final season), led the majors with 48 doubles and tied for 1st in the American League with 127 RBI. So WHY ARE YOU LEAVING US BIG PAPI?? *sobs*

He was giving a hero's sendoff from every ballpark he visited in his final season with the pinnacle being his final game at Fenway Park. The city of Boston announced they would rename the Brookline Bridge the "Big Papi" David Ortiz Bridge... The Red Sox announced they would retire #34 at the beginning of the 2017 season... Maine native and 3rd base coach Brian Butterfield presented the entire Ortiz family with custom #34 LL Bean Boots... And he was basically offered any job in the Red Sox organization he wanted. A very emotional goodbye for everyone.

There's so much of Big Papi that I'll miss. His presence... big and bold and loud. His smile... bright and warm and welcoming. His heart... passionate and open and devoted. I'll miss his stride to the plate, the spit, the clap, the slow trot around the bases and the salute to his late mother as he crosses home plate. I'll miss that sparkle in his eye that told me he was just an all around great guy. I'll miss that energy he brought to the ballpark in every at bat. And I'll also miss that I probably missed any chance of getting a Big Papi hug... *sniff*

It was the ultimate walk-off. Good luck, Big Papi and thanks for the many memories. xoxo

April Showers Bring Red Sox Updates

Yesterday was quite the sports-filled Saturday—it was the perfect storm of sports, if you will, with just about every single professional sport active in some way. A virtual buffet of sporting events to choose from on the boob tube, it made my head spin—from MLB action to the NFL Draft, NBA and NHL playoffs, WGC-Cadillac Match Play, the Kentucky Derby and, of course, the over-priced boxing match between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao. Spoiler alert: Mayweather and American Pharoah were winners!

But I'm not going to talk about any of those contests. I'm not even going to talk about the Red Sox series against the Yankees (and if you're a Sox fan, you know why!) I feel the need to recap the first month of the Red Sox season. Yeah... I know it's only April, but no matter how newborn the season may be, it's still important to have some success in these early days so as not to fall too far behind. Playing catch up is hard.

There are so many new faces on this Boston team, I still don't really know everyone—especially the pitchers (take away my fan card if you must.) I'm getting there, but I'm not going to lie, I need a cheat sheet. With new faces come new growing pains while these players get accustomed to Fenway Park and the big Boston stage. And as with every year, some will flourish, and some will flounder.

Let's take a gander at some of what's been happening with our beloved BoSox in the early days of the 2015 season:

The GOOD...

• Brock Holt "The Brock Star" is such a blast to watch. He only appeared in 14 games in April, but he hit .386. 
• Newcomer Pablo Sandoval has been a consistent bat. In 20 games, he has 24 hits, 12 runs scored and 11 RBI with a respectable .312 average.
• Welcome back to Boston, Hanley Ramirez! Hanley smashed 10 homers and drove in 22 in the month of April, tying him for the major league lead in both categories. If that stupid hairdo has anything to do with the home runs, keep it... even if it does make your helmet fall off every...damn...time.
• It appears that the Dustin Pedroia of pre-2014 is back. His average is just a few ticks under .300 and he has four home runs—so he's definitely on pace to beat his 2014 total of seven.
• Relievers Craig Breslow and Junichi Tazawa seem to be the only real bright spots in the bullpen, both posting ERAs of 1.38 and 1.69 respectively.

The BAD...

• Clay Buchholz, Rick Porcello, Justin Masterson and Joe Kelly. This team is so blatantly missing an ace—it makes me feel a little stabby. Kelly is the only starter to have a sub-5.00 ERA and even then, just barely. 
• Big Papi's .236 average is disappointing. Even though he's notoriously bad in April, I still think he needs to spend less time on his hairstyle and beard grooming and more time in the batting cages.
• After destroying the ball in spring training with a .429 average, Mookie Betts has gotten off to a slow start, batting only .230 in April. Maybe he has Big Papi's disease.
• Pablo Sandoval isn't going to win any Gold Gloves at third base with three errors this past month.

The UGLY...

• Wade Miley. Need I say more? This guy pitches like a champ one start and then gives up a hundred runs in his next. His ERA in April was 8.62 and in four starts, he only pitched 15.2 innings. I'll save you from having to do the math... that's not even four innings per start. Geez...
• The pitching staff as a whole. They are currently LAST in the major leagues in ERA. That's slightly embarrassing.
• Mike Napoli and Daniel Nava. Batting .162 and .154 respectively with a combined one home run and 10 RBIs. 
• Shane Victorino is injured again so I won't piss on his stats too much. Even though in 12 starts, he IS hitting only .143. Come on.

So overall April was just meh. The Red Sox went 12-10 while scoring the most runs (119) in the majors which speaks volumes for how bad their pitching is (113 earned runs allowed, also leads majors!) That's a lot of close, high scoring games! They really have some work to do—I'm giving you the side eye, pitching staff—if they're going to make my World Series prediction come true. I don't like to be wrong.

Bombs Away! Red Sox Rout Phillies in Season Opener.

HOT DAMN! Now that's how to kick off a season, boys! Another Opening Day in the books and I'm really liking what I'm seeing—especially considering the dismalness of 2014. This game had it all—stunning offense, some awesome defensive plays and lights out pitching. I don't even know where to start!

It was a beautiful 72˚ day in Philadelphia (major jealousy!) for the official start of the 2015 season for both teams. I'll admit, I was a bit nervous with the ever-dangerous Cole Hamels on the mound, not entirely sure how Clay Buchholz would match up. My worry was all for nothing. Cole sucked, Clay did not. Cole managed to last just five innings and left down 4-0. Clay did not. Buchholz was masterful—in seven innings, he allowed just three hits, no runs and he struck out nine. I'll take that any and every day of the week.

And the Red Sox lineup? Well, they did something the Sox couldn't manage all of last season... blasting FIVE home runs. Yes, FIVE. Lucky for the Phillies' self-esteem, four of those home runs were solo shots. Well, that is until Hanley "the other dreadlocked" Ramirez jacked a grand slam off the left-field foul pole in the top of the ninth to put the game out of reach at 8-0! And just for the record, he hit that slam with a broken freakin' bat. Duuuuuuuuuude!

Dustin Pedroia had much to prove coming into this season. Pedey was not Pedey last year recording his lowest full-season batting average (.278) with just seven home runs. He's nearly a third of the way to that total after just one game after belting two homers and going 3-for-5 in the effort. He also flashed some leather at second base, and yes, got that uniform dirty. Does Pedroia ever finish a game with a clean uniform? Even with a day off, I bet he still finds a way to get that thing dirty.

Mookie Betts rounded out the bomb brigade with a solo shot in the third. This kid has some quick hands—so quick, I barely saw him swing the bat. I've probably said this before, but I see good things for this 22-year-old youngster. I'm happy to see the Sox giving him an Opening Day start—although there probably would've been some seriously raised eyebrows if they didn't after he tore up the spring hitting .429 in 56 at-bats.

I followed the Red Sox and other players on Instagram over the spring and it truly looked like a group of men that enjoy each other's company, love having some fun and try not to take themselves too seriously. I love that. And I love this video more than words can describe! I also think Big Papi and Hanley Ramirez might love each other too (dancing to That's Amore between innings!)

I agree Pete... I love them already too! (video from here)

Oh, it's a good day today. Not only is baseball back but the Red Sox have not left me shaking my head wondering if it's going to be another long and tedious season. I know it's just game one of 162, but I'm determined to keep the glass half full.

One Week and Counting: Opening Day is Almost Here!

Monday, April 6th. It's a day I've been looking forward to all winter—all five months of frigid temperatures and endless snowstorms. But now, even as the temps struggle to make it out of the 30s, I can see baseball season. I can see the real sign that spring is actually here no matter what the thermometer or the snow in my yard says. And I will surely argue with myself that morning of April 6th whether or not I feel well enough to go to work.

My hope for this season? A respectable finish would be nice. You know... sort of like that season they had in 2013 and preferably not the two that flanked it. I don't like last place. I especially don't like last place living with a Yankees fan. There's no greater pain.

I have no idea what the Red Sox starting rotation is going to look like this year—especially with all these new faces. I do know that Clay Buchholz has been named Opening Day starter and after last season's 5.34 ERA, my confidence in the lanky righthander is not high. Former Tiger, Rick Porcello, seems to have the best 2014 resume of the bunch with a 3.43 ERA. And Justin Masterson returns to the Sox after spending time with the Indians and Cardinals, but despite an All-Star appearance in 2013, in 2014 he was worse than Buchholz with a 5.88 ERA. So basically... oy.

The Sox picked up a couple of big offensive threats in the off-season in Hanley Ramirez (who came up through the Red Sox farm system a decade ago) and Pablo Sandoval. Ramirez has had a respectable spring, but Sandoval hasn't impressed me too much. Mike Napoli has been on fire and as usual, Jackie Bradley Jr. is tearing up the spring. What is it about Bradley Jr. and his spring training successes? And will he carry that spark north to Boston? Because last year he was sort of a giant disappointment.

But Mookie Betts, dude. MOOKIE BETTS!! If the Sox don't find a spot for him to play regularly, I'm going to have someone's head. Seriously. (Unless, of course, he has JBJ disease and can't seem to play in the regular season.) This guy has been on hotter than fire. He's been like molten lava. He's logged among the most at bats during the pre-season and boasts a .452 average with 19 hits, seven doubles, two triples and two home runs—one of which was an inside-the-park jobby. He has scored 11 runs and has an OPS of 1.334. DUDE! Mookie for President!

So the jury is still out on how I feel about this team. Can Pedroia bounce back from a very un-Pedroia-like 2014? Can Big Papi still smash the ball without his ever growing ego getting in the way? What will the Sox do to solve their latest complication behind the plate with Christian Vazquez going out for the season? And most importantly, what are they going to do to stay out of the cellar so I can maintain my sanity?

Now I just sit and wait and wring my hands until the final 25-man roster is named and I become that crazed Boston fan who is never satisfied with any decision they make. I will also to continue to hope for a team that respects each other enough to not end up in last place again. A team that plays for the parade. I really liked that team.

Oh Red Sox... Where has the Magic Gone?

I think it's safe to say that for a Red Sox fan, the 2013 season was just plain magical. It was a season where things just fell perfectly together — like you just knew at some point late last summer that this team was destined to win it all. Every game was fun. Every game was an adventure. And every game felt winnable.

Maybe it was that fateful event that occurred on April 15th that sparked this group of men to give their all for every inning of every game for the rest of that season. They did have that Boston Strong rally cry to live up to, after all. What kind of team would they have been if they couldn't boost the spirits of this city with win after dramatic win? They really had no choice but to excel. They were a team fueled by hometown spirit and pride.

It was just magical. I know that sounds corny, but for me, it's true. And I'm going to venture a guess that I'm not the only sappy fan out there that feels that way.

Was it the facial hair that carried that winning mojo? Or was it a particular player? Maybe it was David Ortiz's heartfelt speech on April 20th that sparked something that can never again be had. I have no idea what special force caused this ragtag group of guys to succeed when no one gave them a chance, but I do know this... that magic has left the effing building, my friends.

In April of 2013, the Red Sox were third in Major League Baseball in batting with a .271 team average. They had hit 26 home runs collectively, had an on-base percentage of .347 and slugged .446. In April of this season, their team batting average was .246 — good for 19th overall. Well that sucks. Orioles' left fielder, Nelson Cruz, has more home runs this season (21) than the Red Sox hit as a team in May (20). Seriously?

So needless to say, I'm annoyed. Sure there have been multiple injuries to key players like Mike Napoli, Shane Victorino and Will Middlebrooks. And the starting rotation has had some hiccups... like Clay Buchholz who went 5-0 with a 1.19 ERA last April... and this year, he was 1-2 with a 6.66 ERA. I'm not even going to tell you what the difference is year-to-year between opponents batting average because it will make you want to throw up.

What I do know about this team is that Stephen Drew is NOT the answer. He wasn't the answer in the off-season at $14 million a year, and he's sure as hell not the answer for $10 million after sitting out the first two months of the season. He hit a whopping .111 in the entire 2013 postseason, and is batting a big fat ZERO since he's returned to the lineup. (Ok, so it's only been a couple games but I don't care!)

Something needs to happen and it needs to happen tout de suite. If you don't know, that's French for RIGHT THE EFF NOW! This season is slowly slipping to the point of no return. SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!

So I Took a Little Balls Break...

Blogging is hard. It's as simple as that. And it's especially hard when you decide to do something as utterly ridiculous as... oh, I don't know... saying that you're going to write a blog post a day for 365 straight days. That's some serious pressure.

Some days I want to say, "eff it..." and call it a day. But I didn't and that's why I've been pretty much MIA for the past nearly two months. I was burned out. Every time I looked at my laptop sitting on the table beside the couch, I wanted to vomit. It was mocking me. My laptop was being a total a-hole. And it's not like there wasn't shit to write about. The Bruins were epically failing... the Red Sox were epically failing... you know, riveting subject matter.

Plus, it's really hard to write about the Red Sox when they're dead to me. DEAD. Although with this most recent three-game winning streak... they might be twitching just a little. Where did the magic go? (Personally, I think AJ Pierzynski sucked all the magic out of the team, but that's another story.)

Courtesy of the Boston Globe.

But what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't mention MANNY RAMIREZ'S HAIR!!! What in the deep depths of hell is going on there? I don't even know what to say. And from the looks of it, neither does Big Papi. In fact, he can't even keep a straight face. He looks like he's about to pee his pants. I think Papi liked those stupid dreadlocks better. Now he just looks like he was viciously attacked by a rogue Flowbee.

I've never been a huge Manny fan. The dude is just a total douche nugget. A lazy, 'roided up, meany. He pushed down old folks. He let his team down when the needed him most. And he likes to hit girls. I'm glad his hair looks stupid.

So this morning I tweeted about Manny. I don't tweet much which is something I really need to be better at if this damn blog is ever going to go global. And because I'm a big loser, I had to make sure my morning talk show buddies saw it because I thought it was pretty funny.

And GUESS WHAT?? Gerry Callahan RETWEETED it!! Why do I find such joy in shit like that? It's the little things, really. This is how Twitter is like golf. You could hit 97 bad shots but if you sink that one 35 foot putt, that's what you remember. Most of my tweets pass like a ship in the night. But when one gets a little attention, it makes me want to spend my whole day on the Twitter.

So I guess I'm back at it. Don't expect something every day because you'll just set yourself up for disappointment. What I recommend is signing up to receive an email when I do post... just a suggestion.

Day 358: Deal is Done: Ortiz Will Finish Career in Boston

Well, David Ortiz got his way, like he always does. After a bit of a snippy spring where Ortiz, once again, voiced his desire to stay in Boston...for the right price, the Red Sox signed him essentially through 2017. If you're keeping track, Ortiz would turn 42 on November 18, 2017. But they haven't promised the money with no strings attached.

In 2014, Ortiz will make $15 million in the final year of his current two-year contract that was signed in 2012. The original total was $26 million, but with him spending fewer than 20 days on the DL in 2013, he'll earn an additional $4 million for a performance clause. The $15 million due to Ortiz this season ranks as the second highest salary behind Mike Napoli who signed a two-year, $32 million deal in December. The new deal signed on Sunday will pay Big Papi $16 million for the 2015 season. A club/vesting option is in place for 2016 that will kick in if he achieves a certain number of plate appearances, and then there's a club option for 2017.

It helps that the Red Sox will most likely have a number of low-paid players in the line up in 2014—Xander Bogaerts, Jackie Bradley Jr. and Will Middlebrooks won't even be eligible for salary arbitration until after 2015. Frees up lots of moola for the big man.

I've been in that boat that doesn't necessarily agree with the way the Red Sox front office treats Ortiz differently than other players when it comes to negotiating contracts. In a time when teams just don't offer up $15 million deals to single-faceted players, Big Papi is bucking the trend and getting that big payday. But there's no denying that he's an integral part of the organization and the city of Boston. And it doesn't hurt that his contributions have had an immeasurable impact on the value of the team. Ortiz is the only player on the team who has been a part of all three of the most recent World Series Championships.

Who knows if Ortiz can maintain the same level of performance through the 2017 season, but at least there will come a time where he'll need to achieve some numbers in order to get paid. Maybe he'll even see this move by the team as a sign of respect and he'll stop moaning about it. Now let's just hope the current .057 spring training batting average is just a minor aberration.

Day 347: David Oritz... Get Over Yourself.

There's a pretty telling article written by Rob Bradford on WEEI.com today where Rob sits down with David Ortiz. Ortiz is evidently feeling some pressure to perform these days. At 38 years old, the Red Sox still continue to put an enormous amount of faith and trust into Ortiz's ability to still crush the ball and make opposing pitchers very afraid. That's why they also keep on paying him a pretty hefty salary for his designated hitter services—something that most teams don't do anymore.

Lately, Big Papi has been quite vocal about his current contract status. He's entering the final year of a two-year, $30 million contract and is concerned that if he doesn't come to some kind of agreement with the team either during spring training or early in the season, the front office's lack of respect is going to force him to entertain other offers. As a fan, I despise public contract negotiations and disputes and whining. One side of me says just pay the guy what he wants—he's not going to be playing for that much longer. But the other side of me just wants the team to call his bluff and not bow to his demands.

So back to this article that Bradford wrote... if you don't feel like reading it, the gist is that Ortiz feels like the Red Sox are not doing anything to protect him in the line up. He's not getting ample opportunity to hit the ball. Last season, he was intentionally walked a career high 27 times in the regular season due mainly to the fact that there wasn't a big deep ball threat behind him. Or in front of him for that matter.

"It's not always going to be about me. I saw last year. Last year, game on the line, late in the game, go to first base. They pitch around you to see if you chase. Nope? Go to first base. I've been through that since Day 1. But last year was even more different. How long am I going to be able to do what I do and be that locked? I don't know. It wears you out -- in my case, I know I do nothing but hit, but to stay that focused and not try to get out of the strike zone."

It sounds to me like maybe Ortiz is setting us up for something. Maybe if he voices his worries about not having more threatening batters around him, when he fails, it won't be his fault. Or how about this? I think this is yet another ploy in his contract negotiations. The team puts so much pressure on him as a player and a leader to carry this team that if they don't back that up with a hefty raise, maybe he'll get a little tired in July, pull a Manny and take a couple days off.

"I'll give it a try, but I don't think there's a baseball player that has lived through this pressure at my age. Think about it. Guys my age are supposed to be complementary players. Nobody signs guys my age to be 'The Man.' If you look at every team, 'The Man' are guys in their prime. Because it's hard. It's hard. I don't take anything for granted. I go at it every day. But living through the pressure, having to be the man every day, at this stage, when everybody is asking you when you're going to retire ..."

If I were his teammates, I think I would take offense to this interview. He has basically said that he's the only guy out of the nine that can produce—that all the pressure is on him. Ok... so maybe that was true in the World Series last year where he essentially carried the team by batting a staggering .688 but bitch, please... let's not get too big for your already too big britches.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm being too hard on him. Maybe I'm reading too far into this recent diatribe. Or maybe I'm just tired of all the money talk in sports and these grown men who play for a living and make millions of dollars doing it, just bitch and whine over money and respect. (I wonder if that would work for me?)

I still love the guy and if anything, the last 11 seasons have been more enjoyable because of him. Except 2012—there was absolutely nothing enjoyable about that season.

Day 345: Baseball for Beginners: Lesson #8 - More Lingo!

Only a couple weeks left to learn (almost) everything you need know to be the best baseball fan ever! So far, Baseball for Beginners has covered the following important areas: Pitchers, Catchers, Infielders, Outfielders, the Lineup, Some Basic Rules and the Lingo. Let's be serious here... if you haven't been following right along, you might be screwed. The baseball season opens in approximately 20 days (depending on where you live) and you've got some reading to do!

There's really so much slang in baseball that one post just barely scratched the surface. Every aspect of the game—from pitching to hitting to fielding—has some special term associated with it. From a simple single, also called a base knock, to a frozen rope or hard hit line drive, to a shot up the middle (through the middle of the infield), there are a variety of different types of hits. A gapper hit between two outfielders could mean two bases, and sometimes even three.

But there's no hit in baseball that has more awesome names than a home run. If you ask me, it makes it that much more fun when you're sitting in the stands and the guy up to bat hits a dinger—it might even be a moon shot (a high, towering shot.) You could hear fans around you refer to it as a four bagger... you know, because the player gets to run around the bases or four bags. Or they might say, "he went yard."

One of the most dramatic round-trippers in baseball happens when the bases are juiced or loaded, meaning there's a runner on each bag. That's called a grand slam or grand salami! My favorite recent grand salami happened last October... watch and enjoy! Ahhhhhh... While it wasn't a tape measure shot (a very long home run), it was certainly a special one. Even that cop in the bullpen thought so.

  )

That long ball by Big Papi didn't win the game, but it did tie it up giving them a fighting chance. The Red Sox ended up winning this one with a walk off single (a hit that wins the game in the final at bat for the home team.) It really was one of the best games ever!!

Here's hoping for more of the same in 2014!!

Day 342: Baseball's Bad Habit: Smokeless Tobacco

Chewing (or smokeless) tobacco is some bad shit. These days there aren't many people who don't know this. With all the health warnings and education on its dangers, it's surprising that anyone would be stupid enough to put this crap in their mouth. Plus, it's just gross. Despite an effort a couple years ago to ban it from major league baseball completely (which was shot down by the player's union), it's still quite prevalent among players—including over a third of men reporting to Red Sox spring training this year.

There are 28 cancer causing carcinogens in smokeless tobacco. Many of those ingredients are quite recognizable—and most certainly are not things you would normally put in your mouth. So it just boggles my mind why people still use it? Arsenic and Cyanide are both poisons. Cadmium is found in car batteries. Formaldehyde is used to embalm the dead. Uranium 235 is used in nuclear weapons and Polonium is a nuclear waste product. Fiberglass and sand are included to help rough up the inside of the mouth and get the nicotine into the bloodstream faster. And let's not forget sugar because why not make it taste sweet too... you know, for the children.

Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe wrote an article this past week about why it's so hard to shake this disgusting habit. It's a really interesting and telling story and on one hand, you feel for the Boston players who are locked into using it because it's part of their routine. But on the other hand, you just want to smack them for being so ignorant and stubborn. Some guys picked up the habit years ago while in the minor leagues and can't seem to shake it. Now, smokeless tobacco is banned in minor league baseball, but according to some current MiLB players, that ban is only loosely enforced.

Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz is one veteran who can't seem to shake his dependency. The pinch of tobacco in his cheek is as much a part of his at-bat routine as spitting in his batting glove and slapping his hands together before digging in to the batter's box.

“I use it as a stimulator when I go to hit,” Ortiz said. “But the minute I finish my at-bat I spit it out. It keeps me smooth and puts me in a good mood. I don’t do it in the offseason. I don’t really like it that much, to be honest with you.”

It's a nasty habit and no member of the Red Sox will tell you otherwise. Most of the players that are suffering from addiction to smokeless tobacco say that they would quit if their family asked them to or if they thought they could without it affecting their game. Now it's silly to say that the use of smokeless tobacco actually can determine how well a guy plays the game, but some say it would be hard not to blame a slump on giving up the chaw.

There is one Boston player who said he didn't want to quit using chewing tobacco—outfielder, Jonny Gomes. He told Peter Abraham that he would quit if his family wanted him to.

“The kids aren’t old enough to realize what’s going on," Gomes said. "People are baffled I don’t do it in the offseason because I do it all the time when we’re playing. But I don’t have an addictive personality. There’s just something about it that goes with baseball. There’s something attached to hitting. I can’t describe it. Once I stop playing, I’ll never do it again. I know it’s a bad idea.”

Like Gomes, most players interviewed said they use smokeless tobacco only during the season and also claim that once they're done playing baseball, they'll never touch the stuff again. They all know how damaging it is—just ask former San Diego Padres star Tony Gwynn who battled mouth cancer back in 2012. My hope is that all these guys quit in time to avoid any long-term effects.

Day 304: David Ortiz, Your Contract Threats are Not Cool.

Dear Mr. Ortiz,

Let me begin by telling you how much I've enjoyed watching you play for the Boston Red Sox over the past 11 years. It's been fun seeing your smiling face celebrate three World Championships and there's nothing more entertaining than a Big Papi home run. You have really become one of my favorites in the way you lead this team.

With that said, I'm also incredibly disappointed in you right now. I'm disappointed that you consistently bring up your contract and your wish to negotiate a multi-year deal at the most inopportune times. In case you've forgotten, there is still another year left on your current contract. And while your 2013 was amazing, what happens if you suck in 2014? Can the Red Sox add an "if Papi sucks" clause?

Everyone in Boston knows your history. We all know you're the greatest designated hitter to ever grace the game of baseball and easily one of the most clutch hitters in the history of Boston sports. Your digits in the 2013 playoffs where off the charts—a .688 batting average in the World Series, a grand slam that completely changed the AL Championship Series—and this after hitting .309 with 30 home runs and 103 RBIs during the regular season at the ripe old age of 38.

And therein lies the problem. You're 38 now and by the time your current agreement has ended, you'll be 39. You realize that in baseball years, that's pretty close to dead, right? I'm not sure if you've noticed, but long gone are the days when teams are willing to pay a guy a hefty salary to just bat four or five times a game. Teams are placing less and less importance on the position of designated hitter, paying the big bucks to the more multi-faceted players who can contribute both offensively and defensively.

If you're feeling disrespected, if you're feeling unloved, passive aggressiveness is not the answer. It's not attractive. Just have a little faith in the team from the city you've called home for so long that they'll make you a fair offer so you don't end up living in a cardboard box under the bridge. Also, it would be nice if you could stop with those ugly "maybe I'll go somewhere else where they appreciate me" threats. Or maybe you should look at taking a page out of Jon Lester's book—a guy that wants to stay in Boston so much, he's willing to take that dreaded "hometown discount."

I want to continue to cheer you on, Mr. Papi. I want to continue to watch you blast home runs and maybe even celebrate another championship. But please... just knock this contract shit off.

Yours Truly,
Stacy

Day 257: World Series MVP Not Looking to Retire Anytime Soon

David Ortiz is 38 years old and doesn't appear to be slowing down in his role as the designated hitter for the Red Sox. At an age when a lot of baseball players are starting to suck a little bit and maybe thinking about moving on to a new career, Ortiz is still kicking high and hard. (That made me giggle a little bit because try to picture Big Papi doing a Rockette-style high kick... Right?)

In 2012, Ortiz signed a two-year, $30 million contract that will keep him in Boston through the 2014 season. But it's obvious that he would prefer to stay in Boston—this is his "f$%#ing city" after all. And after coming back to the lineup sooner than imagined, then shocking the world with numbers no one expected, it's only natural that Big Papi would like to secure a contract extension sooner rather than later. I think I would feel better too.

Ortiz was a machine last season. He missed just a couple of weeks early in the season while recovering from the achilles injury and reentered the lineup like it was no big deal. He batted .309 with 30 home runs and 103 RBIs with a .959 OPS in 2013. Not bad for a guy some thought was on his way out. And that's not even mentioning the postseason. He hit a pivotal grand slam in game two of the ALCS and then went on to be named the World Series MVP winning his third ring with the Red Sox.

It makes sense that he would want to try and get a deal done for 2015 now. Both he and the ball club are still riding the World Series high and visions of Big Papi bashing home runs are still fresh. Get that contract extension inked before there's any chance of an April slump in 2014. Not that I think that's going to happen... but you never know. Ben Cherington wouldn't talk about it much saying he didn't want to take the spotlight away from Mike Napoli and his shiny new contract.

I'm all for it. Nothing would make me happier than keeping the heart of the Red Sox clubhouse secured in Boston hopefully until he's ready to call it a day. His smile makes me smile.

Day 225: Big Papi on MTV? What?

Honestly, in my approximately 40 years of loving the Red Sox, I'm not sure there has been a player as popular as David Ortiz. Sure, there have been guys over the years that were loved for their successes and gritty play and their big smiles—and who didn't think Pedro Martinez was destined for Boston politics at one time or another. But Big Papi has to be tops in the favorites category, so it's about time he puts that fame to use for some real good. (*insert sarcasm font*)

Because a third World Series title, winning the World Series MVP AND finishing third in the Boston mayoral race aren't enough... David Ortiz is going to become a producer of his own MTV show. I'm not exactly sure when I last watched a program on MTV, mainly because I'm in my 40's and frankly still a little miffed that a channel called Music Television doesn't play any friggin' music anymore. But if there's a show with Ortiz's name attached, you bet your ass I'm going to watch it!

According to Yahoo:

MTV Networks and Major League Baseball said Monday they are collaborating on a weekly 30-episode series that melds pop culture and baseball. Ortiz and Pittsburgh Pirates All-Star outfielder Andrew McCutchen are both executive producers of the series, set to begin next spring around the start of the new season.

The program has yet to be titled and will most likely air on MTV2. It will be shot at the MLB Fan Cave in Manhattan where Big Papi has been a fixture over the years, and with his love for music, MTV felt it would be the perfect marriage. One of the main roles for Ortiz and McCutchen will be encouraging other players to get involved. I'm guessing that if Papi is asking other players to do something for the good of baseball and growing its fan base, chances are most of those players are not going to say no.

So maybe the MLB Fan Cave is someplace I should look into spending the 2014 baseball season? Me and Big Papi kicking back, having a few beers... I can't even imagine spending an entire 162-game season concentrating only on baseball. Sounds like a dream job to me. Do you get paid this this gig? Sign me up!

Day 222: Lots of Accolades for the 2013 Red Sox

The World Series Champion Boston Red Sox have some more awards headed their way and rightfully so. It would've been odd if no one on this team won any type of individual honors because these guys were just awesome this past season. So in addition to the big shiny World Series trophy and David Ortiz's flashy MVP award, here are some others:

• Dustin Pedroia and Shane Victorino each won Gold Gloves. But I already wrote about that here.

• David Ortiz won a Silver Slugger Award. This is the sixth time Big Papi has collected this honor. The Silver Slugger is an offensive award that goes to the best player at each position and Ortiz took home the prize for designated hitter. He hit .309 with 30 home runs and 109 RBIs during the remarkable 2013 season. And that doesn't even include his postseason numbers. His stats surprised many after an achilles injury kept him sidelined for the first couple weeks of the season. No one knew just what Papi would be capable of once he returned to the lineup. Needless to say, I think both the organization and fans were pleased with his performance!

• Dustin Pedroia gained recognition for his outstanding defense on Thursday as he was named American League's Defensive Player of the Year by Wilson. This coming just a week after he collected his third Gold Glove. Pedroia had his best year yet in the field with a .993 fielding percentage in 159 games. His power numbers were down at the plate, but he still hit .301 for the season—and all this with a bum thumb which he'll be having surgery on next week to repair a torn ulnar collateral ligament. Just proves how nails tough this little guy is!!

• David Ortiz finishes third in Boston's mayoral race. No really, he did. Reports have Ortiz receiving enough write-in votes to place him in third place. He was quite far behind both the winner and runner up, but at this point in his career with the Red Sox, and his insane play in the World Series, it's no wonder the people of Boston would pick him to lead them. It makes sense... wasn't it Ortiz that proclaimed: "This is our f#%king city!"

John Farrell is a finalist for AL Manager of the Year, but that award has not been given out yet. If he doesn't win, I'll be shocked! He almost has to win after what he did with this bunch of guys. Plus, Sporting News already named him their Manager of the Year.

Day 219: Big Papi on the Talk Show Circuit

Less than a week ago, the Red Sox won the World freaking Series. Less than a week ago, David Ortiz emerged as the hero of that World freaking Series with a staggering .688 batting average to secure the MVP Award. Perfect for the one guy who has been in Boston for the last three titles.

Since that jubilant night, Ortiz has been a busy guy. First, there was the celebratory parade—because who doesn't love a parade? Especially when you get to ride on the Dropkick Murphy's flatbed. And then the Gillette beard shaving event that raised $100,000 for the One Fund with Shane Victorino... not all of the facial came off, but a good portion.

On Monday night, a very dapper looking Big Papi swung by Late Night with David Letterman for some laughs. Papi's got a great laugh! Letterman brought up the chicken and beer scandal of 2011 which got some laughs from the MVP, and of course the beards. And Ortiz opened up about the impromptu game four pep talk where he told his teammates, "You don't come to the World Series every day..."

 

On Tuesday morning, Ortiz made another stop, this time to visit Live with Kelly and Michael. I'm not sure what the hell happened to all the videos of his appearance I saw on YouTube earlier today, but they've all vanished. Really, Kelly and Michael? Some of us work during the day—how the hell do you expect to increase your fan base if you don't provide some clips? Harumph! Well, the Boston Herald has a recap. And Big Papi, once again, looked pretty spiffy!

All I can think every time I see Big Papi and his great big toothy smile is... I bet he gives the best hugs!

PS: Did anyone get a load of that watch? Fancy schmancy!!

Day 214: Thank You, Red Sox... World Series Champions!!

Dear Red Sox,

I'm not sure if you got a chance to read my letter to you back on July 16th... if not, here it is. Surprisingly and gleefully, not much has changed since that day. My feelings for this team never changed. And your drive to succeed never changed. You all went about the season like it was your passion, and not your job.

Now, to reward your fans with not just a worst to first turnaround, but a worst to World Series Champion turnaround, is something that, as a fan, I will never forget. There was a will, there was a desire and there was a camaraderie that fueled this team to overcome adversity and deficits that many Red Sox teams from years past would never have been able to accomplish.

For a team that rarely had problems producing hits and runs over the regular season to still triumph when many of the bats went quiet, was a feat beyond explanation. When bats were silenced, the pitching lifted the team. When pitching floundered, batters who may have been slumping, made timely hits.

And let's not forget about the MVP of the World Series... David Ortiz. The one bat in the lineup that never quieted. The one bat that instilled fear into each pitcher who dared to take the mound against him. In the end, Big Papi batted .688 in the Series and at one point, reached base in nine consecutive at bats. But it was not only his bat that had such a huge impact, but his enthusiasm and leadership. When Ortiz pulled the troops together for a game four pep talk, the Series took a turn in the Sox favor—a pivotal moment for sure.

Jon Lester deserves major kudos as well. The game one and game five starter was masterful in both World Series outings, and if Ortiz hadn't been so locked in, he may have collected that MVP award. Lester has had his problems over the past couple of seasons, but he dug down deep and pulled off one of his greatest accomplishments. He won both starts, allowing just one run, striking out 15 in 15.1 innings, finishing with an ERA of 1.73.

I wish I had the words to thank ever single amazing guy on this team who not only played such a huge role in this World Series run, but also succeeded in reigniting my faith in the team I've loved my whole life. You know who you are... and so does every member of Red Sox Nation. We'll never forget...

For the third time in 10 years, I sat in front of my television, celebrating a World Series Championship and crying tears of joy. So thank you, Red Sox, for making this season one full of fantastic fun and foolish facial hair.

Congratulations!
~Stacy

Day 212: Some World Series Fun Facts

As my friend's almost seven-year-old daughter read her library book about the Red Sox the other morning, she made this astute observation: "Mum, I know why they call it the World Series... because the world watches, and it's really serious." That kid is wise beyond her years. The World Series is very serious business—especially for the die hard Sox fan.

Game five is in the books. The final of the three games on the road in St. Louis was another hard fought battle and another win for the Red Sox. This series is headed back to Fenway Park, giving the Sox a chance to win the World Series at home for the first time since 1918. Can you even imagine what a friggin' zoo Fenway will be?

Instead of trying to give you a recap of yet another nail-biter of a game—because who isn't watching this series—I figured I'd throw out some fun facts...

• Have you ever seen Jon Lester pitch so masterfully? In 15.1 innings pitched in the World Series, Lester is 2-0 with an ERA of 0.59 and 15 strikeouts. He looks cool and collected. He looks comfortable and confident. He looks almost like he could pitch ever night and never get winded. He's locked in, and according to John Farrell, could even possibly be available for some bullpen work, should this series go to a game seven.

• Speaking of locked in... how about David Oritz? What the hell, Big Papi!? I've never seen anything like it. Ortiz is a lean, mean hitting machine. His stats in the WS are mind-blowing. Through the first five games, he's gone 11-for-15 (.733 batting average) with two doubles, two home runs and six RBIs. In addition to the .733 average, his on-base percentage is .750 and he's slugging 1.267. His OPS is a whopping 2.017. He's nipping at the heels of Billy Hatcher's 1990 record for batting average in a World Series of .750.

• And speaking of records... Koji Uehara is approaching one of his own. His save on Monday night was his seventh of the postseason, tying him for most ever by a closer for the playoffs. He also became just the fourth pitcher in playoff history to record four saves of four or more outs. It's not a record, but it puts him in some pretty damn good company. Koji has pitched 12 2/3 innings allowing just one run. All this and he still gets ridiculously excited about every single win.

• And speaking of being excited... THE RED SOX ARE ONE WIN AWAY FROM THEIR THIRD WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE LAST DECADE!!! I might be just a little bit excited about this. I also might be getting more and more superstitious with every passing day. I almost kicked my parents out of my house on Saturday night—citing their presence as the reason the Sox fell behind. Also, I'll be wearing the same exact clothes and sitting in the same exact spot on the exact same couch with the exact same blanket over me.

All I can say is holy shit... it's going to be a crazy ride on Wednesday night!! GO SOX!

Day 208: Errors are Contagious, Like the Bird Flu

Ahhhh... the World Series... it giveth and it taketh away.

Remember on Wednesday night when the Cardinals made all sorts of errors and blunders and you may or may not have laughed out loud at their mishaps? Well... karma didn't like that. I think karma is a Cardinals fan. Game two on Thursday night featured a reversal of fortune of sorts. And it did not favor Red Sox Nation. The Sox lost a tough game two 4-2 and the series is tied a game a piece as the teams head to St. Louis.

Just as I had imagined, game two started out with the makings of that pitchers' duel I love and hate so much. Both pitchers were on their game. John Lackey fooled Cardinals batters with that nasty curve that starts off looking like a big fat mistake right down the middle, but then drops out of sight leaving the batter wondering what the hell just happened. And Michael Wacha (Wacha wacha) with his sick change up that was the cause of nearly all of his six strikeouts.

When Yadier Molina drove in Matt Holliday in the fourth with the game's first run, I started to sweat. I could see how much Wacha was fooling the Sox batters. Mostly I was annoyed because it was the first time the Red Sox had trailed in a World Series game since 1986. What can I say, I got a little spoiled in 2004 and 2007.

My hopefulness dwindled with each passing out. Until the bottom of the sixth... Dustin Pedroia drew a one out walk, bringing up David Ortiz. He bashed a couple of foul balls that had announcer Tim McCarver certain Wacha was in trouble. And surprisingly McCarver was right (this pains me to no end to actually type since everything that comes out of his mouth makes me want to barf.) Ortiz launched a 3-2 change up over the wall in left center to put the Sox up 2-1.

Unfortunately, the lead was short-lived. And the events that took place in the top of the seventh will make you want to jab a sharp stick in your own eye. I've tried to block it from my memory so I'll do my best to recap. There was a double steal that never should've happened...a walk to load the bases... an errant throw home that allowed the tying run to score... and the play that almost compelled me type a string of curse words as my Facebook status—an airmailed throw back to third base that nearly found the crowd. Tack on an RBI single and just like that, the Sox were down 4-2. jdlk;fjfo;hglksjhgkjhkjfhg

Cardinals closer Trevor Rosenthal pulled a Koji and made the 6-7-8 spots in the lineup look like little leaguers. Blah. It sucks fighting to stay awake to watch that crap. If I'm going to lose a few prime snoozing hours, I at least want to be rewarded with a win, dammit.

Boston now needs to win at least one game on the road to get the World Series back to Beantown and I vow to keep my fool mouth shut about the Cardinals and their errors. Karma is a real bitch.

Day 200: Now THIS Game is Crucial, Red Sox Nation!

So the ALCS is knotted up at two games a piece. Right now, it's best out of three, people. One team has to win two of the next three games to make it to the World Series. Regardless of who wins tonight, the Tigers would be forced to win the series on the road, and the Sox can clinch it at home. In this case, I like the Sox... but home cooking doesn't necessarily win you games.

If you're looking at just hitting, on paper the advantage goes to the Tigers. The Red Sox couldn't hit their way out of a paper bag right now and are collectively batting just .186. Mr. Clutch, David Ortiz, is batting .067 for the League Championship Series. He has just one hit, albeit a big one—a game tying grand slam in game two that tied the series. But overall, the bats are eerily quiet. I don't like it. If it's this frustrating to me, I can only imagine what these guys are feeling.

Now if you're looking at pitching, well, Detroit has the advantage there too. They've struck out 53 Red Sox batters in just 35 innings pitched. Do the math—that's 1.5 strikeouts per inning or 13.5 times per game. That's some crazy shit. The Sox struck out the just over 1,300 times during the regular season, placing them eighth in the major leagues which averages out to eight times per game. And the Tigers have only allowed 24 hits in those same 35 innings. That math is depressing.

Normally, it's the game sevens that are considered crucial—d'uh, that whole do or die thing. But I'm going out on a limb and saying that game five is the pivotal one in this series. It could mean either momentum for the Tigers going back to Fenway Park, or confidence for Boston as they return home. I'm also sure that if this does go to seven games, I'm going to come back and say that game seven is pretty crucial too!

Game five won't be an easy task for either team. The Red Sox will have to face Anibal Sanchez who pitched six innings of no-hit ball back in game one—a painful 1-0 Detroit win. Jon Lester, who was on the losing end of that misfortune, will attempt to quiet the Tigers' bats that seem to burst into action in game four.

I keep telling myself that if Boston loses this ALCS, I'll be ok with it. I should, right? I mean who ever thought in a million years they'd even be in this spot right now. Who could even dream up the idea that the Red Sox would be able to field a competitive team after a disastrous 2012? A part of me is just happy to be here... but the other part of me... the rabid, lifelong fan in me... wants to WIN WIN WIN!! WIN IT ALL!! So no, I don't think I will be ok with losing this series.

PS: Holy CRAP, it's day 200!!!

Day 197: Does It Get Any Better Than This, New England Sports Fans?

Am I the only one whose heart rate just returned to normal after those two finishes on Sunday? I think my heart was racing from about 4:30pm until the end of that amazing Red Sox game. Has there ever been a more exciting one-two punch with last second wins for both the Patriots and Sox in one day? If so, I don't think it has happened in my life time. Wow... just wow.

First, the football game between the New England Patriots and New Orleans Saints had shitshow written all over it. While their records were very similar, the Patriots were still struggling with injuries and seemed to be losing more guys than they were getting back. And we know all about Drew Brees's high-flying offensive attacks. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty nervous.

The Brady - Brees showdown was one of the most exciting games I've seen the Patriots play so far this season. The Pats scored early and headed into the locker rooms at the half with a 17-7 lead. But Brees came back in the second half scoring 20 points and with less than two minutes to go in the game, the Saints had a slim 27-23 lead.

Tom Brady is accustomed to these type of pressure situations and appeared cool as a cucumber as he marched his team 70 yards down the field with no time outs and the clock ticking down fast. And with just :05 left in the game, he connected with Kenbrell Thompkins in the corner of the end zone for the winning touchdown. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out of my dogs with my sudden outburst of screaming when the score occurred. 

Radio announcer for 98.5 the Sports Hub, color analyst Scott Zolak could possibly have had the best reaction EVER to the amazing play: UNICORNS! SHOW PONIES! WHERE'S THE BEEF? Listen here for the audio...

As if that ending wasn't enough excitement for my Sunday evening, the Red Sox had to get into the mix. It's no secret, game two was a must-win situation for the Sox. They could not go to Detroit down two games to none. But it was not going to be an easy feat as they would have to get by AL best Max Scherzer and his freaky eyeballs. Like the night before, the Sox were held hitless through over half of the game. But unlike the night before, when the bats came alive... the bats came alive.

Detroit had what seemed like an insurmountable lead going into the bottom of the eighth inning, especially given what both their starters and relievers have been able to do against this lineup. All it took was for Scherzer to be pulled from the game and the Sox took advantage of three different pitchers to load the bases on a double, a walk and a single.

Then the Tigers brought in the fourth pitcher of the inning, closer Joaquin Benoit, to face David Ortiz. Ortiz had never homered against Benoit... until Sunday night. Big Papi took the first pitch fastball into the Red Sox bullpen for the game tying grand slam that also took Tiger right fielder Torii Hunter ass over teakettle over the fence, landing on his head.

Red Sox radio announcer, Dave O'Brien's reaction was great... but not as awesome as Zolak's earlier Patriots' call... THIS GAME IS TIED! THIS GAME IS TIED! DAVID ORTIZ! DAVID ORTIZ! DAVID ORTIZ!

But it didn't end here. The Sox still needed a run to win after Koji Uehara put down the Tigers in order in the top of the ninth. Jonny Gomes led off the inning by legging out an infield single and took second on an errant throw. He then moved to third on a wild pitch. Jarrod Saltalamacchia then punched a 3-1 fastball through the left side of the infield for the walk-off single and a spectacularly amazing win for the Red Sox.

So now we head to the Motor City for game three on Tuesday night. John Lackey matches up with Justin Verlander—the Tigers' rotation just never gets any easier, does it? Game time is 4pm. Oh how I love this game!!